Life

Everything that doesn't fit anywhere else!

Postby mnp13 » January 30th, 2006, 5:44 pm

GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:
1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.

GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:
1) Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.

GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD
1) Growing old is mandatory; Growing up is optional.
2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.

THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:
1) You believe in Santa Claus.
2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are Santa Claus.
4) You look like Santa Claus.

SUCCESS:
At age 4 success is . . not peeing in your pants.
At age 12 success is having friends.
At age 16 success is . . . having a drivers license.
At age 35 success is . having money.
At age 50 success is . . . having money.
At age 70 success is . . . having a drivers license.
At age 75 success is . having friends.
At age 80 success is . not peeing in your pants.
Michelle

Inside me is a thin woman trying to get out. I usually shut the bitch up with a martini.
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Postby Jesseca » January 30th, 2006, 5:52 pm

That is so funny, yet so true :D
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Postby GreddyGirl » January 30th, 2006, 6:12 pm

:clap:
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Postby panda » January 30th, 2006, 6:30 pm

:goodStuff:

love it and so true
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http://deaddogwalkingpitbullrescue.org/
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Postby Emi » January 30th, 2006, 6:57 pm

:mrHappy:
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Postby pLaurent » January 31st, 2006, 12:47 am

7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time






At age 4 success is . . not peeing in your pants.
At age 12 success is having friends.
At age 16 success is . . . having a drivers license.
At age 35 success is . having money.
At age 50 success is . . . having money.
At age 70 success is . . . having a drivers license.
At age 75 success is . having friends.
At age 80 success is . not peeing in your pants


:groupjump:
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Postby SisMorphine » January 31st, 2006, 9:09 am

Those are great!! :ROFL2:
"All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another." -Anatole France
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