It costs many thousands of dollars to adopt from anywhere. And ironically, there is probably more paperwork to adopt through the government (ie foster care system) than to go overseas. Yes, there are literally millions of kids who need to be adopted in this country. However, it's a NIGHTMARE to adopt them.
Here is an overview of what my friend just went through:
Yearly adoption approval at the state and local level. Thousands of dollars.
Yearly foster home approval at the local level. Hundreds of dollars.
They took in the EIGHTH child to be taken by the state from the same woman. She repeatedly disappeared until the very last day that she would lose all parental rights. Then she would show up. They did a foster to adopt with the boy, it took two and a half years. They couldn't use any babysitters that were not approved by the state to watch him. They couldn't use any daycare not approved by the state to watch him, even if they use NO state funds to pay for the babysitter or daycare. If any approved relative had stepped up to take the boy, they would have lost him that minute.
They currently have her NINTH baby, a little girl, that they got just after she was born. Now all of the above is starting again. Dad, who is muslim, who refuses to take a paternity test, who doesn't want the little girl, told the social worker that the foster dad is not to be alone with the baby, can not change her diaper or even her clothes. According to New York, he has the right to make those demands and technically, she can be taken from them if the foster dad does not follow them. Right. You don't want the kid, you won't prove you're the kid's father, but you can dictate the terms of the family that DOES want her. Sorry, total BS in my mind.
The American foster to adopt system is a nightmare. At the end, it's cheaper to adopt overseas and you don't have the risk of the kids being yanked at any moment up until the papers are signed. And even after they are signed, sometimes things still happen.
Private adoption is easier in some ways, but far more expensive and you also risk losing the baby at a moment's notice.
Very close friends of my parents went through this: four children were found living in a storage unit. The oldest was nine, they hadn't seen their mom in approximately a month. My parent's friends were willing to take in all four kids to keep them together. After three years, after finally getting the oldest to understand that she didn't need to be a "mom" anymore (including her claiming that the husband beat her which ended up with her admitting to lying about it, she just didn't understand how to not be in charge) they had finally settled down and they were a family. Then grandma suddenly stepped up and took all four. Everyone was devastated, but nothing could be done. The kids were taken from the only stability they had ever known. They regressed horribly, after six months grandma couldn't handle them anymore (no big shock to anyone who knew the kids). They called the foster parents, but they had already taken in two other kids, and didn't have the living space for six kids. The kids were split up. Then foster care yanked the two kids and gave them back to their crack addict mom. Three months pass, and the kids are back in the system. My parent's friends gave up and no longer foster. They can't handle the emotional turmoil. I don't blame them.
Inside me is a thin woman trying to get out. I usually shut the bitch up with a martini.