Religion and Couples Questions.

Everything that doesn't fit anywhere else!

Postby SisMorphine » November 14th, 2011, 1:27 am

Oh yeah. Things are gonna get messy ;)

I'm currently watching that show on TLC about Muslims. One of the couples has an Irish Catholic dude who converts to Islam for his new wife.

So here is where I get confused. Why? If you are such a believer in your religion, why would you convert? And frankly if you are NOT religious, why would you convert? I feel like it's a slap in the face to the religions either way. It's a "I don't really care . . . whatever as long as the other person's family is happy." If you actually consider yourself a member of your religion, then why would you convert to another haphazardly simply because you're getting married?

Though I may be a dirty dirty atheist, I am a HUGE student of religions and their workings. I am really, truly, interested in all of this. Just interested in hearing everyone's thoughts.
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Postby Tubular Toby » November 14th, 2011, 2:50 am

I'd consider myself agnostic at this point in my life and even I wouldn't convert for my boyfriend (who happens to be agnostic as well). Really, honestly, if my boyfriend were deeply religious (or totally, hardcore atheist), that might even be a bit of a problem for me. I know that some couples are just fine with separate religions, but I don't think I could be with someone in a serious, long term relationship if they had wildly different views than I did.

But I guess that's why some people choose to convert... But me? No. I wouldn't do it unless I felt moved to do it for reasons other than appeasing other people
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Postby Malli » November 14th, 2011, 3:25 am

There may be some who look at the various religions as different paths to the same place. :shock:

I am an atheist, so is my man. My parents, much much moreso my mum now, are somewhat religious, but its a less literal belief then a lot of religions and religious people tend to be.

I have always found converting to be a bit strange, but maybe its a case of it being "the lesser of two evils"
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Postby pitsnok » November 14th, 2011, 8:20 am

It's such an interesting thing to bring up... i consider myself atheist but maybe borderline agnostic... I don't believe in a higher power, but i also don't think it's possible to know whether or not one exists... I am a skeptic through and through when it comes to just about anything...I simply need "proof". I can't logically believe in something without good honest reason to do so. one day I may have some life changing epiphany that changes my mind... but until then, im unconvinced. I have the upmost respect for anyone who is religious though, as long as they can also be respectful of my viewpoint. When that's the case, I truly enjoy the philosophical debates that come with the topic. I often say that I honestly wish I was capable of having blind faith in something, but I'm just not.

i think it's really interesting that the situation you mentioned involved switching religions completely, especially from Catholicism since it usually goes the opposite way... i've never really heard of that before. i know often people will 'convert', but normally it doesn't mean drastically changing one's beliefs.
With that being said, Islam is actually very similar to Christianity/Judaism so it doesn't seem all THAT drastic to me... They all share the same fundamental beliefs and literature and whatnot--all cite Abraham as the original prophet, etc.
I think a big problem is all the anti-Muslim, and anti-anything-but-Christianity beliefs that Americans have based on the radicals we constantly hear about. i really wish that more people would educate themselves on all religions, even if it's from a purely scholastic mindset...In my opinion, It's important to be familiar with both sides of a debate if you choose to participate...and unfortunately,(here in Oklahoma anyway) that is VERY RARE, therefore i tend to keep my mouth shut most of the time...

As for a non-religious person taking the spouse's religion, THAT is weird. I honestly think that it probably just boils down to avoiding conflict/confrontation. I am lucky that my BF is on the same page as me, but I do often wonder what sort of ceremony we should have when we do eventually get married... strictly just to avoid conflict, and especially to avoid some of my family members feeling like they need to hold an intervention to save me.
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Postby ArtGypsy » November 14th, 2011, 8:19 pm

:goodStuff: :goodStuff: :goodStuff: :goodStuff:
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Courage to make them the way they ought to be.”----Augustine
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Postby mnp13 » November 15th, 2011, 7:44 pm

Catholic, Christian, Orthodox, Muslim and Judaism all believe in the same God. However, they do not agree in who Christ was - the first three say he was the son of God, Muslims believe he was a prophet, but that Muhammad was the prophet, and Jews believe that he was a prophet but are still waiting for the Messiah, except for Messianic Jews who are Jewish but believe that Christ was the Messiah (though I've never really understood why that doesn't make them Christians.)

So there are at least some substantial similarities between them, but also substantial differences obviously.

I'm Christian, (yes, with all the things that go with that) but I don't talk about my beliefs unless I am asked directly. I do understand why people change religions, but I think that most people who do just do on the surface - as someone already said, I think most do it to avoid confrontation. I do know someone who went from Protestant to Orthodox Jew, and that's something that takes total commitment, as she now keeps Kosher. There's nothing "easy way out" about that!

I think a much bigger shift is one of the above to say Buddhism or Hindu, as not only are you shifting the "focus" but it's a complete shift in the underlying fundamentals.
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Postby SLS61185 » November 17th, 2011, 12:22 am

I don't label/classify myself as anything. Just never had a 'reason' to, really.... i USED to go to church and all that 'good' stuff but refuse to now. I just don't believe in it anymore... My husband and his family on the other hand are Christians they all go to church every week and what not.. He doesn't - not anymore, atleast. One of his sisters converted to Jewish because of her husband (the same one that has breast cancer). The family doesn't like it... but 'accept it'.

Religion is the ONE thing he and I DON'T talk about with each other. Two totally different view points and stuff. I'm more of the

pitsnok wrote: I don't believe in a higher power, but i also don't think it's possible to know whether or not one exists... I am a skeptic through and through when it comes to just about anything...I simply need "proof". I can't logically believe in something without good honest reason to do so. one day I may have some life changing epiphany that changes my mind... but until then, im unconvinced. I have the upmost respect for anyone who is religious though, as long as they can also be respectful of my viewpoint
...

I respect the fact that someone is religious as long as they respect the fact that I'm NOT. You shouldn't change your ways just because...
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Postby SisMorphine » November 23rd, 2011, 12:05 pm

pitsnok wrote: I am lucky that my BF is on the same page as me, but I do often wonder what sort of ceremony we should have when we do eventually get married... strictly just to avoid conflict, and especially to avoid some of my family members feeling like they need to hold an intervention to save me.

My sister is an atheist and married into a pretty traditional Mexican Catholic family. At first his family was upset that they couldn't get married in the church, but that passed quickly and they used a Justice of the Peace.
"All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another." -Anatole France
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Postby TinaMartin » November 23rd, 2011, 1:50 pm

I follow the live and let live attitude. I wont shove my Religion down someone elses throat if they don't try to shove theirs or their lack there of down mine. I love to discuss different view points and love to ask questions. I don't think that someone should convert for the sake of a relationship. You either are or aren't something. I get told all the time that I should as a "good Christian woman" be trying to convert as many people as possible. If someone wants to be converted fine but you cant force someone to believe something just because you do. The only thing that does is make someone hate what you are. It has the opposite effect that one would hope to achieve.
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Postby DemoDick » November 29th, 2011, 10:52 am

SisMorphine wrote:Oh yeah. Things are gonna get messy ;)

I'm currently watching that show on TLC about Muslims. One of the couples has an Irish Catholic dude who converts to Islam for his new wife.

So here is where I get confused. Why?


Because he's terrified of being alone and is convinced that she is the best that he can do. His religion takes a backseat. She'll be unfaithful within a year if she isn't already.

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