Oyi... I'm sorry you and Toby are going through such a difficult time right now.
How old is he again?
You might want to read some of my very old posts about Mick... he was extremely HA, so I know exactly how you feel.
I also agree w/Liz when it comes to people approaching Toby while he's crated - Mick couldn't/wouldn't tolerate that, ever, and he chose *fight* every time since he obviously didn't have a chance to retreat (*flight*) in his crate. He was also way more reactive when on-leash or muzzled, but he finally learned to tolerate wearing a muzzle w/out freaking out after months of work/training.
Mick had to be managed carefully on a 24/7 basis... it IS do-able, but it's a ton of work in the long-run, and it requires a lot of compromises, commitment, and love - which you all seem to be willing to tackle.
Hang in there!