Whew! I think it's time to 'fess up here.
I say do whatever makes YOU guys happy. I refer to Adam as my husband, but he's not. We've lived together about 8 years, he has a 13 year old daughter who lives with us part time. We have a house, a business, pets. As far as I'm concerned, we might as well be married...which is, oddly enough, one of the reasons we're not. The older I get, the more I feel like, if it's the same without it, why spend the money. And watching some of my friends stress about their weddings made me never want to do it. But I was never one of those little girls who dreamed about her wedding.

At the same time, calling him my "boyfriend" seems insufficient.
Our families aren't religious, either, and one of Adam's sisters has a domestic partnership-- with a man, they just didn't want to do the marriage things, per se, so his folks already have some experience with non-traditional relationships. My parents were all out anti-religion. Just not part of the equation for us.
We got in the habit of saying we were married when we bought a house-- we live in the buckle of the bible belt, and it was easier for Adam to tell the few contractors we dealt with that he'd have to talk to his wife about things before making a decision than to say, "Holy crap! We are NOT going to pay you $14,000 to rewire our house!!" Forgive us, we played on the hen-pecked husband stereotype. And it was easier than having to hear people tsk or ask us why we're not married or when we're getting married and deal with their looks and questions when we said we're not. I finally just answered honestly when we met one of our new neighbors-- I figured, no one really cares about this anymore, I'm way too sensitive about it, and, anyway, screw 'em if they can't mind their own business. Of course this is the one stranger who thinks it's ok to start questioning me with this pitying look about "why?"
Do what makes you happy and tell everyone else to eat it.
"In these bodies, we will live; in these bodies we will die.
Where you invest your love, you invest your life." --Marcus Mumford
--Amalie