It's sort of hard to know where to begin-- I picked Simon from his litter at 6 weeks old, too early, almost 16 years ago. He was asleep and I assumed he'd be a quiet calm little guy. Of course, I was wrong. He was every bit the ball of energy you'd expect from a lab mix puppy. He was snow white, with a solid black nose and eyeliner.
I'll admit that we did a lot of things wrong with him. I'd have done almost everything differently if I could do it over again. But one thing for sure, he loved me. He was a one owner dog, and I was It. He followed me around and wanted to be with me all the time. Even today, before we took him in, he always wanted to see where I was.
He's not been in great shape the last couple of years, but we've managed to keep him comfortable and relatively happy. Over the last week, though, he's been on a steady decline. He hasn't really wanted--or seemed able-- to eat. Last night he was breathing hard, walking against the walls to stay standing, and lying completely still while everything went on around him. He hasn't been quite himself for a while, but last night he told me that he was tired of this and that he's done.
So this morning I made him a turkey sandwich that he loved every single bite of. I laid on the kitchen floor with him, snuggled in his bed, and took him in to the vet's office to let him go. He was just ready.
Caring for him and trying to make up for all that I did wrong had become a way of life for me. I am 31 years old and Simon has been part of my life for more than half of that. It's like losing a piece of myself and I know already that I am going to be so lost.
I love you, bud. I'm sorry I couldn't have done more for you. And I already miss you so, so much.
The way I think of him.
Greeting River on her first night with us.
Deciding maybe being inside has its perks.
My little lamb.
Being a senior has also its perks...like riding shotgun.
"In these bodies, we will live; in these bodies we will die.
Where you invest your love, you invest your life." --Marcus Mumford