How do you guys do it?

Postby pitsnok » October 23rd, 2010, 2:29 am

How do you rehome fosters? I am having such a hard time thinking about finding homes for Boss and Ollie...and we haven't even started looking yet. I have gotten so much more attached to Boss in the past week, and Harlow never has been happier than she is with these two boys. Even Degan has been WAY more well behaved in the past few weeks. He even shows excitement about Ollie, and acts like he wants Ollie out of his crate sometimes.
The problem? Finances. I spent $90 on dog food like 3 weeks ago and we have to get more tomorrow. Tanner isn't working much right now because he is taking CLEET classes and trying to make his tile business work. I am starting to see the end of my financial aid, which is what I'm living on right now. Our birthdays are on the 8th, and 11th of November though, and as much as I hate to anticipate or rely on it, I usually get money as a gift, and more than likely it would be enough to survive until I get my next financial aid installment which is sometime in December. I have had the most ridiculous semester, but I know that it is just THIS semester. I have had to buy tools and things that I know will stay with me throughout the rest of my education. Next semester my school expenses will be significantly less than this semester.
I KNOW the best thing for US financially would be to find them homes, but the problem is that I can't convince myself that it would also be the best thing for them. Not to mention, I don't even know how well I could handle it mentally. I will sacrifice whatever I have to for any of these four dogs and I think that is making it so much harder for me to make a decision.

I guess what I want to know is how you guys get past the emotional attachment to the dogs even though you might know it's the right thing to do?
~Brittany, Degan and Harlow's mom


"It is true that Pit Bulls grab and hold on. But what they most often grab and refuse to let go of is your heart, not your arm."
User avatar
pitsnok
Hyper Adolescent Bully
 
Posts: 365
Location: Edmond, OK

Postby mnp13 » October 23rd, 2010, 2:41 am

I rehomed Connor with Demo. lol

But seriously? ERIN!!!!!!! come and answer this!!!



edited... I swapped the names the first time I posted it... um... oops!
Michelle

Inside me is a thin woman trying to get out. I usually shut the bitch up with a martini.
User avatar
mnp13
Evil Overlord
 
Posts: 17232
Location: Rochester, NY

Postby amazincc » October 23rd, 2010, 2:42 am

I rehomed Faust with Seppel and Daisy. :|



lol
User avatar
amazincc
Jessica & Mick
 
Posts: 9814
Location: Holding them both in my heart.

Postby pitsnok » October 23rd, 2010, 3:45 am

Soooo... are you guys saying that you DON'T get past the emotional attachment and just do whatever you can to make things work?
I was just having a conversation with the boyfriend about it and ended up bawling my eyes out. I feel like I have shown them that things are okay, and they can trust us. They can let down their guard and just be dogs. And I feel like I will be totally betraying them if we send them off to someone else.


:cry:
~Brittany, Degan and Harlow's mom


"It is true that Pit Bulls grab and hold on. But what they most often grab and refuse to let go of is your heart, not your arm."
User avatar
pitsnok
Hyper Adolescent Bully
 
Posts: 365
Location: Edmond, OK

Postby mnp13 » October 23rd, 2010, 5:19 am

I'm saying that I have improper temperament to be a foster.

Some people don't have my defects and make great fosters who get dogs ready for forever homes.

I can only temp-foster furry dogs, puppies, breeds I don't care for, and dogs that have behavioral problems; even then I usually start to like them after a while. I can't get near anything that's a breed or kind of dog that I would want... I'm a big baby when it comes to stuff like that.

Like I said, you want to hear from Erin on this one.
Michelle

Inside me is a thin woman trying to get out. I usually shut the bitch up with a martini.
User avatar
mnp13
Evil Overlord
 
Posts: 17232
Location: Rochester, NY

Postby iluvk9 » October 23rd, 2010, 7:04 am

I never foster or even volunteer at the shelter anymore because I will keep them all.

As for the financial aspect, I think you have to look at what is in the dogs best interest, long run. Ask yourself this: What would you do if ANY one of the dogs with you needed $2,000. knee surgery, and it couldn't wait? What if one of them needed medication for the rest of their lives to keep them alive? (Harley is on $90. a month of meds., with no end in sight.)

As for finding a home for your fosters, maybe you can network with people you KNOW who would take Boss. Then you wouldn't feel AS horrible because Boss would be with a good person/family. I almost gave my Mom's cat to a close friend because she is a real cat lover. The only reason I didn't rehome him is because Bo had 2 owners pass away on him and I felt bad. He also had a UTI at the time and I knew it was my financial responsibility to get him healthy.

Of course I would probably keep Boss...after all my words of wisdom. 8)
iluvk9
I'm Cougarific!
 
Posts: 14900
Location: New York

Postby TheRedQueen » October 23rd, 2010, 9:02 am

I am a foster failure, but only when it's really the right thing to do for the dog...or the stars are aligned perfectly. The last two cats were supposed to leave, but have stayed (one because no one could ever catch him/pick him up to get him out of the house). The Wiener was supposed to have found a home...but he fit a role that was needed in my life (flyball height dog among other things).

But I rehome dogs waaaaaay more than I keep dogs (and I've had one put to sleep for behavioral issues).

One thing...don't put human emotions on the dogs so much...they will get attached to a new home, like they got attached to you. Dogs are pretty adaptable...and will move on and love a new home too. They're not going to be thinking..."oh what a bitch! I thought she loved us! And she sent us away!"

Can you handle it financially, taking into account major issues. Sure...you might be able to cover basic stuff, but what happens if they suddenly tear an ACL or get into a fight and need stitches, or something major. Can you pay for it, or do you have financial help from someone? (My parents help out with their "grandkids" if I really need help).

Do you honestly have time to train each one of these dogs, and give them attention each day that is adequate. Is Degan acting better lately because you've been expecting MORE from him due to having the new dogs around? Could you rehome them with a stipulation that you can still have playdates with them?

I know you say that you'll sacrafice anything for these dogs, but that won't help them in the long run either. If you spend every dime on them, and get kicked out of the place you live, that won't help them. If you can't buy dog food, that won't help them. If you can't buy human food, that won't help them. It's a noble thing, but think realistically. The best thing for these dogs is to be in a home that can give them everything that they want/need. If that is you, then that's great...if it's honestly not you, then think about rehoming them.

Try rescues, and see if they can help you out financially if you continue to foster them with the hope of rehoming. See if the local shelter will help out in the same way. When I got Oreo, she was not with a rescue...she was a stray that a friend of mine picked up. I hooked up with a rescue, and they paid for her surgeries (spay) and vaccinations, and I paid for her food. They listed her on their site, so she got into the public eye more...and after 6 months, she found a FANTASTIC home!
"I don't have any idea if my dogs respect me or not, but they're greedy and I have their stuff." -- Patty Ruzzo

"Dogs don't want to control people. They want to control their own lives." --John Bradshaw
User avatar
TheRedQueen
I thought I lost my Wiener... but then I found him.
 
Posts: 7184
Location: Maryland

Postby amalie79 » October 23rd, 2010, 10:33 am

It's my biggest fear with fostering. You invest so much in helping them that it's hard to let go. We were going to foster Robin...that lasted all of 2 hours, which was the time it took to get a collar for her and get her to the vet, where the receptionist took one look at me and said, "Don't be ridiculous; that dog's not going ANYWHERE." They know me too well at my vet's (and they let their clients pay over time without applying for real credit).

Like Joyce, I have one that requires a pretty penny in meds and vet visits. And when one is sick, they're all sick. It's like they just can't stand being left out of extra car rides. Every time I think I have the sickest animals in the world, I just have to remember that it's actually that I have a LOT of animals; we've had months of $600+ on just run of the mill BS (and trust me-- those months are a hardship). But as much as I totally fell in love with Boss and Ollie's pictures and wish I could adopt them from you (we're just over the border in Arkansas), I can't take on anything else while Simon is still around. He can't take more dogs. I can't give more attention to another dog, much as I want Robin to have a playmate in the house. And just walking the 2 that CAN go out is a full time job. They need to be better trained before more come in the house. I don't know what I'll do if another stray shows up. I'll be in trouble, for sure!!

My mother is having to trap a feral kitten and take it to the shelter. I know she hates doing it, and she's taken in 3 or 4 litters to socialize and rehome in the last couple of years (her house is a prime location for feral births). My mother is not in good health anymore and can't put in the hours needed, and can't let it run around un-neutered/spayed. And can't afford to feed/care for another animal. She and her others would suffer for it.

All this to say, I know it's easy to say you have to do the right thing, but it's hard to do. I don't know if I could do it. I'm a foster failure once; it just seems too hard.

I guess, like Erin said, you have to be realistic. And if you keep 'em, develop a super relationship with your vet and your pet supply store owners. And get friendly with the people who hire proctors for testing services at your school. I do a Saturday or two every month (@around $100 each), which is supposed to be vacation money, but is usually animal money. :wink:

I feel for you. :groupHug:
"In these bodies, we will live; in these bodies we will die.
Where you invest your love, you invest your life." --Marcus Mumford

--Amalie
User avatar
amalie79
Loyally Bully
 
Posts: 633

Postby dlynne1123 » October 23rd, 2010, 12:52 pm

Its hard to get over the emotional attachment of any foster. Just keep telling yourself its for the better of the dog. As many as I have loved, I KNOW they are happier somewhere they get more attention and more time. In a home with 4 dogs I can't offer what a single dog household could. Its simple, keep your focus on the dog and be sure you know the home they are going to is safe and sound. In the mean time, keep them happy, adoptable, and out of trouble! Its the best we can all do! It is hard, and I do still cry once in a while but i cry more when I get pictures months later of how happy they and the dog are together! Its totally worth it! Especially if it was a tough dog, or a less adoptable dog. Its not to say that three of our 4 are foster failures, we do have to know when to say no!

Good luck and keep thinking about the dogs best interests! Its hard to set your emotions aside.
Ryder - Rescue APBT
Panser on a Roll - APBT (American Bully?)
Gretchen - the red headed cat that thinks shes a dog
Prudence - the new cat on the block to put the dogs in their place!
Punchlines Better Than Lojac - APBT (RIP)
User avatar
dlynne1123
Hyper Adolescent Bully
 
Posts: 289
Location: New England

Postby pitsnok » October 23rd, 2010, 4:09 pm

Thanks for all the advice, guys. It really helps to hear from people that have done it, and people that are honest in saying they could never do it, haha. I just need to keep reminding myself that my DREAM is to be able to help pit bulls, and if I keep Boss and Ollie that will make it so much more difficult for me to succeed in the future. It's going to suck, but I know it's what I need to do.


So, if anyone has any family or friends or knows anyone traveling or anything in the Oklahoma/Texas/Arkansas/Missouri/New Mexico area looking for one or two lovely boys, let me know. I think they could be separated and would be okay, but keep in mind they did show up together when they were found.
~Brittany, Degan and Harlow's mom


"It is true that Pit Bulls grab and hold on. But what they most often grab and refuse to let go of is your heart, not your arm."
User avatar
pitsnok
Hyper Adolescent Bully
 
Posts: 365
Location: Edmond, OK

Postby Tubular Toby » October 23rd, 2010, 7:37 pm

I will keep an eye out here in Stilly for you, but I honestly don't know anyone that I would trust MY dog with, haha, so chances are I won't be able to find anyone. My mom would be the only person and she already has a dog, so that's done.

Best of luck finding them homes. If I were in any situation to have another dog, I would love to help you out. =(
-Kristen
Owned by Totally Tubular Toby

Buy the ticket, take the ride

http://tubular-toby.blogspot.com/
User avatar
Tubular Toby
Confident Young Bully
 
Posts: 521
Location: Stillwater, Oklahoma

Postby TheRedQueen » October 23rd, 2010, 7:59 pm

Is there a rescue in the area that you can hook up with, so they can help with screening/applications/placements? Perhaps they will put them up on their pages and such?
"I don't have any idea if my dogs respect me or not, but they're greedy and I have their stuff." -- Patty Ruzzo

"Dogs don't want to control people. They want to control their own lives." --John Bradshaw
User avatar
TheRedQueen
I thought I lost my Wiener... but then I found him.
 
Posts: 7184
Location: Maryland

Postby LMM » October 23rd, 2010, 8:20 pm

It's not all that difficult for me when I think of it like this: when I find a great home for this wonderful foster, it enables me to help another. Do I miss them? Sure! (in most cases anyway lol) But I am their bridge to a forever home, NOT their forever home.

It also makes it much easier when you find a GREAT home. I mean a couldn't be more perfect for them home.
Last edited by LMM on October 23rd, 2010, 8:24 pm, edited 1 time in total.
User avatar
LMM
I'll Kick Your Ass
 
Posts: 1834
Location: Bitch please....

Postby LMM » October 23rd, 2010, 8:21 pm

One thing...don't put human emotions on the dogs so much...they will get attached to a new home, like they got attached to you. Dogs are pretty adaptable...and will move on and love a new home too. They're not going to be thinking..."oh what a bitch! I thought she loved us! And she sent us away!"

And diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitto!
User avatar
LMM
I'll Kick Your Ass
 
Posts: 1834
Location: Bitch please....

Postby pitsnok » October 23rd, 2010, 9:44 pm

I sent an email to the only bully rescue in the area asking them to do a courtesy posting on petfinder for me. You guys have helped me a lot. Hopefully BBHS will help me just get them listed. I explained that I wanted to be affiliated with them because I will be very picky about who they will go to. Hopefully since they are vetted and neutered they will be more willing.


Keep your fingers crossed for us!
~Brittany, Degan and Harlow's mom


"It is true that Pit Bulls grab and hold on. But what they most often grab and refuse to let go of is your heart, not your arm."
User avatar
pitsnok
Hyper Adolescent Bully
 
Posts: 365
Location: Edmond, OK

Postby iluvk9 » October 24th, 2010, 6:53 am

LMM wrote:One thing...don't put human emotions on the dogs so much..


SO TRUE!! When I left my 4 at a kennel for a 10 day vacation, I was shocked when I went to get them and Harleybird (who never leaves my side) walked RIGHT PAST ME.
iluvk9
I'm Cougarific!
 
Posts: 14900
Location: New York

Postby TheRedQueen » October 24th, 2010, 9:55 am

iluvk9 wrote:
LMM wrote:One thing...don't put human emotions on the dogs so much..


SO TRUE!! When I left my 4 at a kennel for a 10 day vacation, I was shocked when I went to get them and Harleybird (who never leaves my side) walked RIGHT PAST ME.


I board dogs...sometimes long-term (the poodle Henri, stays with us for months at a time...since his mom is in and out of the hospital). While they're happy to see the person that picks them up, sure, they're always adaptable to our house, and fit right into the pack while they're here. Dogs amaze me with their adaptability. 8)
"I don't have any idea if my dogs respect me or not, but they're greedy and I have their stuff." -- Patty Ruzzo

"Dogs don't want to control people. They want to control their own lives." --John Bradshaw
User avatar
TheRedQueen
I thought I lost my Wiener... but then I found him.
 
Posts: 7184
Location: Maryland

Postby copperlegend » October 24th, 2010, 8:45 pm

It's tough, it really is. Since being a 'failed foster' for Nadia (who is currently sleeping on my feet), we've had a pit mix puppy and an adult Boxer mix. It helps that their new families are close and keep in touch, with photos and stories.

I like what LMM said about being a bridge to their forever home, it really does feel like that.
Joanna
Proud 'failed foster'
Nadia -APBT mix
CarreraKitty - feline extraordinaire
copperlegend
Snot Nose Bully Pup
 
Posts: 163

Postby pitsnok » October 25th, 2010, 1:57 pm

Good news, I heard back from a rescue today. (http://www.pbroklahoma.com) I would really appreciate if you guys would glance over their website and make sure I didn't miss anything significant that should keep me from working with them. I think they are a relatively new organization, or used to operate under a different name because I haven't ever heard of them.
They are about an hour away, but I think all our corresponding can be done through e-mail. They said if I send photographs and bios about the boys they will have an ad on petfinder within a day or two, and they have adoption events at a local petsmart once a month that we can bring Boss and Ollie to. They have an application, and contracts that will weed out anyone that they wouldn't adopt to, so that's a plus for me.

I did e-mail back to find out what will happen with the adoption fees. I'm not sure if they will keep them, or if it will go straight to us since technically it is just a courtesy listing. Do you guys have any idea how that usually works? It seems like they shouldn't get all of the fees since all of the expenses have been out of pocket for us...but at the same time, I'm not trying to make money off of them and the damage has already been done to my bank account so whatever happens, happens. They are non-profit so I wouldn't be offended if they kept it. It would just be nice to see some of the money back since I am on such a tight budget right now. (being an art student is RIDICULOUSLY expensive, by the way.)

As great as this is for us, my heard sunk once I got that e-mail. So send good, strong thoughts this way that I don't have a complete mental breakdown... and also that we find the PERFECT home(s) for Boss and Ollie.


Also, I know it is hard to judge since you guys don't know the dogs, but do you think we should 'prefer' to have them adopted together? Maybe we should start having them spend more time apart to get a better feel for how they are on their own before making that decision...?
~Brittany, Degan and Harlow's mom


"It is true that Pit Bulls grab and hold on. But what they most often grab and refuse to let go of is your heart, not your arm."
User avatar
pitsnok
Hyper Adolescent Bully
 
Posts: 365
Location: Edmond, OK

Postby pitsnok » October 25th, 2010, 2:12 pm

I also got a response from this group who is willing to help:
http://www.bestfriendsokc.org/default.htm

So ... I don't even know which would be better!
~Brittany, Degan and Harlow's mom


"It is true that Pit Bulls grab and hold on. But what they most often grab and refuse to let go of is your heart, not your arm."
User avatar
pitsnok
Hyper Adolescent Bully
 
Posts: 365
Location: Edmond, OK


Return to Rescue

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users

cron