Mother's day..

[AllAmericanPUP]

thanks!

i've got a bed, but my lil bro doesn't. Also keeping my eye out for a kennel for Eli.

[cheekymunkee]

Awwww Tracey, you have turned into a wonderful person despite not having the role models you needed in your childhood, you are strong, brave and kind. Just like she is none of those that the cards said, YOU are none of those things that she has said.

You and your brothers will be alright. It will take time & it wont be easy but you guys will make it ok as long as you depend on yourself. Ya know, I have never been big on family, never understood why I was expected to be, I cant stand most of them & wouldnt ever speak to them if we werent related. My child hood wasnt bad, I had a prescription drug addicted mom & a depressed alcoholic father but I was taken care of and I had what I needed. My parents were sick of kids by the time I came around years after my brothers so I pretty much had life to myself. My dad was a jerk so I avoided him, my mom was too spaced out to care. As long as I didnt make waves or get caught I was free to do as I pleased. Wait until the 'rents pass out & take off. I was a feral child and I truly enjoyed it. Anyway, I grew up so much differently than most of my family ( even my brothers) that I feel no connection to them at all. I talk to one brother on Facebook sometimes ( we only talk on the phone once per year & that has only been happening the past 5 years or so) and one that I will never speak to again ( we were close but no more) . I only to talk to ANY of my family members on Facebook really. BUT i have a wonderful family, a family that I have chosen. I have friends that I wouldnt trade for the world and THEY are my family. Some of them I have known for years, some I have only known a couple of years and some I have never met in person but they are more of a family to me than the blood people are.

I learned rather young that just because someone is family doesnt mean you have to care about them & you cant make someone care about you that doesnt. Sometimes you have to look at things from the "me" stand point & cut your losses with people. Life is too short to be around people who make you miserable. I get paid to be around people I cant stand, I am not going to do it for free just because we are related. You dont have to argue with your mom & you dont have to take her crap, see her because you WANT to not because you feel obligated. Because you're not. Do it on your terms, if she starts crap....leave.

One of my biggest fears about (possibly) having children someday is that I'm too selfish to think of them first and myself second. My friend Marty, who has a son, says that the simple fact that I worry about that means that I'd be ok. But I'm still not sure about it....

I was always the QUEEN of selfish and I still am. But now I just come in a real close second.