AllAmericanPUP wrote:She talked me out of going to senior prom because she thought i was too fat to wear a dress.
AllAmericanPUP wrote:I am thankful everyday that i am nothing like this woman and yet saddened because my sister is more and more like her everyday.
mnp13 wrote:One of my biggest fears about (possibly) having children someday is that I'm too selfish to think of them first and myself second.
AllAmericanPUP wrote:I found myself in the card isle looking at Mother's day cards for me and my siblings to give to my mother and as i'm reading all these cards i realize that my mother is none of these things. She's not strong, kind, loving, courageous or anything else listed on these beautiful cards. She wasn't there for us, she was never our rock to lean on in hard times and she never will be. When my brother was 17 and told her he was depressed and having suicidal thoughts and made an appointment for a therapist she went and got drunk the night before and was too hungover to take him to his appointment so he didn't get to go and he didn't get help until he went to the school counselor and helped himself. She wasn't there when we tested for our belts in tae kwon do. She talked me out of going to senior prom because she thought i was too fat to wear a dress. She called me thunder thighs for most of my teen years. She never once gave me the idea that i could go onto college and make something of myself and when i expressed i wanted to be a dog groomer her only thought was that doesn't make enough money. Every Christmas for as long as i can remember are memories of her being hungover and asleep on the couch.This is a woman who cares more about her material possessions than she does of her children and grand children....
I am thankful everyday that i am nothing like this woman and yet saddened because my sister is more and more like her everyday.
In the end I couldn't bring myself to buy one of these cards because they do not describe her so i bought a simple card that said happy mother's day.
DemoDick wrote:AllAmericanPUP wrote:I found myself in the card isle looking at Mother's day cards for me and my siblings to give to my mother and as i'm reading all these cards i realize that my mother is none of these things. She's not strong, kind, loving, courageous or anything else listed on these beautiful cards. She wasn't there for us, she was never our rock to lean on in hard times and she never will be. When my brother was 17 and told her he was depressed and having suicidal thoughts and made an appointment for a therapist she went and got drunk the night before and was too hungover to take him to his appointment so he didn't get to go and he didn't get help until he went to the school counselor and helped himself. She wasn't there when we tested for our belts in tae kwon do. She talked me out of going to senior prom because she thought i was too fat to wear a dress. She called me thunder thighs for most of my teen years. She never once gave me the idea that i could go onto college and make something of myself and when i expressed i wanted to be a dog groomer her only thought was that doesn't make enough money. Every Christmas for as long as i can remember are memories of her being hungover and asleep on the couch.This is a woman who cares more about her material possessions than she does of her children and grand children....
I am thankful everyday that i am nothing like this woman and yet saddened because my sister is more and more like her everyday.
In the end I couldn't bring myself to buy one of these cards because they do not describe her so i bought a simple card that said happy mother's day.
Why!?! I wouldn't have bought her a damn thing. I would have sent her a detailed letter outlining all the horrible crap she did to you and how it made you feel. Happy Mother's Day.
Life is too short to allow toxic people to ruin it for you. Personally, I cut them out of my life completely and do what's best for me. It's tough when they are family, especially since no one can hurt you like a family member. But you have to take care of yourself first and foremost. If your mom decides to get sober she'll realize what she did and come to you with an apology. Until then, why spend any effort trying to make her feel good? You owe her nothing, and she's not going to appreciate your efforts anyway. It doesn't make you a bad person to take care of yourself, and you have every reason to, as she sure as hell didn't.
What you went through sounds horrible and I wouldn't be surprised at all if her neglect and abuse has created any number of other problems in your life. I don't know anyone who can grow up in that environment and not come out of it with some issues that they need help resolving. What she did was abusive and neglectful, and now that you've realized that you have a decision to make. Either stop tolerating it and take care of yourself or keep enabling it and allow her to continue to hurt you.
Demo Dick
AllAmericanPUP wrote:I ask myself that same thing. I'm not sure why i cave and allow her to hurt me.
I've told her exactly what I think of her time and time again and I've told her about all the things she's done to me and my siblings but it just doesn't seem to get through to her.
My brother Gary is 26 and has been self destructing for the past few years(almost died from a drug overdose a year and a half ago) and they just can't understand why he is the way he is. WHAT do you expect when you are such terrible parents?? Of course he's drinking and doing drugs, that's what we grew up around. Every Christmas eve with my mom's side of the family consisted of us kids entertaining ourselves why the adults got high and drunk on the back porch.
They don't seem to understand why he has no ambition and can't hold a job...he's so messed up because being the oldest out of us 5, he got the brunt of the abuse. (6th sibling is from my mom's first marriage)
sorry to dump all this out there but it feels good to talk about it. I've never told people about most of this before.
AllAmericanPUP wrote: I know she had a horrible childhood and it doesn't surprise me she is the way she is but she shouldn't have made the decision to have 6 children.
Now she has 2 grandchildren and it disgusts me the way she is to them. Kyle(4yrs old) spilled some apple juice in the kitchen last week and she flipped out on him like he had just played Frisbee with all the china.
I'm not even sure i want kids but if I do have them i don't think they will know her unless she does some serious changing in her life.
There's very rarely a day that goes by where she doesn't tell me she hates us.
Everything that has happened has made me a stronger person and independent and when i get back on my feet and get my own place again I'm not sure I'll even speak to her.
Unfortunately my father is also a drunk but he's never said the things to me that she has.
AllAmericanPUP wrote:when it rains it pours right!?
they got really wasted on thursday and my mom started attacking us and me and my brother ended up leaving and going and staying with our other brother on his couch in a house with no drywall!
so we're in the process of helping my brother finish remodeling his house and we're probably going to move in with him.
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