No neutering for "loser" cat

Postby TheRedQueen » July 17th, 2009, 9:53 am

http://www.theonion.com/content/news_br ... thering_to

From The Onion:

Pet Owner Not Bothering To Neuter Loser Cat
July 13, 2009 | Issue 45•29

CORAL SPRINGS, FL—Mike Oakland, 29, told reporters Monday he is not about to pay $100 to have his 5-month-old cat, Mowgli, neutered, because he has no expectations that the dull, paunchy tabby will ever get laid.

Image
Mowgli

"For all he's going to use those balls, he might as well keep them," said Oakland, adding that he'd bet anyone any amount of money that the striped kitten will die a virgin. "He never leaves the house, and I've seen how the neighbor cat looks at him. Completely platonic." When reached for comment, a spokesperson from the Florida Humane Society reiterated that it's important to have all pets spayed or neutered, even ugly lame-o's who probably couldn't score in a roomful of calicos in heat.
"I don't have any idea if my dogs respect me or not, but they're greedy and I have their stuff." -- Patty Ruzzo

"Dogs don't want to control people. They want to control their own lives." --John Bradshaw
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Postby amazincc » July 17th, 2009, 10:01 am

Do you see why I couldn't WAIT to get the hell out of Coral Springs??? :shock: :rolleyes2:
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Postby TheRedQueen » July 17th, 2009, 10:12 am

amazincc wrote:Do you see why I couldn't WAIT to get the hell out of Coral Springs??? :shock: :rolleyes2:

:giggle:
"I don't have any idea if my dogs respect me or not, but they're greedy and I have their stuff." -- Patty Ruzzo

"Dogs don't want to control people. They want to control their own lives." --John Bradshaw
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Postby Jenn » July 17th, 2009, 1:27 pm

I've seen how the neighbor cat looks at him. Completely platonic.


lmao
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Postby BigDogBuford » July 17th, 2009, 2:52 pm

Mowgli is totally cute and I'm sure as soon as he's all grown up could get all the pussy he wants. We all go through an awkward stage, right? :|
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Postby Marinepits » July 17th, 2009, 2:58 pm

LMAO
Never make someone a priority in your life when that someone treats you like an option.
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Postby cheekymunkee » July 17th, 2009, 3:00 pm

I totally love the Onion! LMAO LMAO
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