We lost the fight before it got started.
The cancer was already high grade so healing was much more difficult. I was so hopeful we could fight and get her in remission despite the odds. She was so brave and so sweet to all the staff. Everyone was pulling for her to be ok.
She had complications from surgery. I got a call early early this morning . I had to decide between surgery again or the thing I never wanted to think of... because the intestine which has sown back together got an abscess and she was starting to have major issues.
After talking to the dr. and seeing her in pain even though on strong meds. I had to let her go. I didn't want to be unfair to her. I wanted to choose the surgery so badly and just wanted to be able to bring her home if only for a little while, but the prognosis wasn't good and the chances of the same thing happening again from the surgery were very great.
I've never had to do this before and it was one of the hardest things I've ever done. I can't stop crying and don't know if I made the right choice even though the emergency vet said I did.
I feel guilty about making the choice, but also know how much worse it was when I didn't make that choice with Sock-M and fought with her past the point where I should have... I guess there is no way to know. I wish I could just get a sign from both of them that they aren't mad at me and are OK.
I miss my baby girl and want her to be home playing with her bobo which is her favorite ball and play in the tunnel and weave poles.
I know she is playing with Sock-M right and they are having a grand time, but that still doesn't make it stop hurting. My Mom is up there too to watch over them both along with so many other great people and pets.
Sorry for venting... I'm just broken hearted all over again and also don't want to forget how much of a blessing she was in my life and what a wonderful loving baby girl she was...
Everyone at the vet loved her even though they didn't knwo her long.
Please say a little prayer or send some good thoughts out there for her.
I'll try to post a memorial to her as I get my emotions more under control.
I still haven't posted Sock-M's
I don't even know if this post is making any sense as I type through blurry eyed tears and sobbing.
I LOVE YOU STARLIT! I hope you know and will never forget me. I will always have you in my heart!
Shine brightly in Heaven's Skyz my pretty baby Stary Night, and I will search for you My Tar Tar, My Bella Bella, My Starlit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A True Champion, a great mama, my four legged daughter, and a queen in my heart always...
UKC CH/ ARBA CH 'PR' T's Blu Stalit O' Patchtra Skyz, OFAca, CERF, Penn Hip, DNA-P
Patch O' Pits Pursuit-O-Perfection
Run Hard at the Rainbow Bridge My Angel Sock-M! I Love You Baby Girl! Now that your Mom Starlit is up there too, please help her learn the ropes, love and keep her company until I can see you both again. Starlit I love you!http://i14.tinypic.com/2a8q345.jpg