Toonces

If it's a non-human, non-Pit Bull, family member, post it here!

Postby pitbullmamaliz » October 31st, 2008, 6:32 pm

Today is the one year anniversary of me having to put my little man down. I thought I'd never quit crying every night about him, but I did. Now I only tear up when I talk about him. I had him for 15 years, since I was 13 years old. I grew up with him. He dried my tears with his fluffy coat and was just a rag doll in my arms. He couldn't have cared less if there were anybody else in the world - all he wanted was me. He has spoiled me for all other cats. So I just wanted to post some pics of him...

He had perfected the classic cat-nap...
Image

He had no qualms about claiming his own space...
Image

He thought the only thing that books and papers were good for was chewing or sleeping on when Mom was trying to be productive...
Image

He was playful to the end - maybe only for a minute or two, but he still had it in him...
Image

This is my nightstand where he now rests...
Image

And a close-up of his urn...
Image

This is the face of an angel, MY angel...
Image

And a quote from I book ("Rescuing Sprite" by Mark Levin) that puts into words the guilt I still feel about euthanizing him:
I was racked with guilt. I felt I had just executed my [cat]. Each step of the procedure only enhanced that feeling. [Toonces] had sought my reassurance, which I used to betray him and trick him into remaining calm before the drugs were administered. Yes, I knew [Toonces] couldn't go on. Yes, I knew his condition would only get worse. Yes, I knew he had to be miserable and I was out of options. But I could not escape the fact that the [cat] we had taken home, who we loved and who loved us, who had been so happy and brought us so much joy was destroyed on my say-so. I had been responsible for deciding the day, time, and place of his death.

Who was I to make these decisions? Who was I to play God?

My guilt would only get worse.


It still doesn't seem real that I have to live the rest of my life w/o smelling his fur, or falling asleep with my arms around him, listening to him purr. I just can't help but wonder why it had to end. Why can't they live forever? I miss him so much... :cry:
"Remember - every time your dog gets somewhere on a tight leash *a fairy dies and it's all your fault.* Think of the fairies." http://www.positivepetzine.com"

http://www.pitbullzen.com
http://inaradog.wordpress.com
User avatar
pitbullmamaliz
Working out in the buff causes chafing
 
Posts: 15438
Location: Cleveland, OH

Postby madremissy » October 31st, 2008, 6:35 pm

I am sorry Liz :hug3:
User avatar
madremissy
I have a basketball and I'm not afraid to use it.
 
Posts: 3786
Location: meansville, ga

Postby pitbullmamaliz » October 31st, 2008, 8:55 pm

Thanks, Missy.
"Remember - every time your dog gets somewhere on a tight leash *a fairy dies and it's all your fault.* Think of the fairies." http://www.positivepetzine.com"

http://www.pitbullzen.com
http://inaradog.wordpress.com
User avatar
pitbullmamaliz
Working out in the buff causes chafing
 
Posts: 15438
Location: Cleveland, OH

Postby iluvk9 » October 31st, 2008, 10:02 pm

I can't believe it has been a year since he has left you. :( I am sorry for your heartache.

I LOVE that last photo of him.
iluvk9
I'm Cougarific!
 
Posts: 14900
Location: New York

Postby Jenn » October 31st, 2008, 10:18 pm

:( Sorry hon :hug3:
I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure....
User avatar
Jenn
undecided
 
Posts: 11382
Location: TX

Postby pitbullmamaliz » November 1st, 2008, 8:40 am

Thanks girls. Last night was a rougher night than I had anticipated. So I broke out a lovely bottle of wine and then went to bed early.
"Remember - every time your dog gets somewhere on a tight leash *a fairy dies and it's all your fault.* Think of the fairies." http://www.positivepetzine.com"

http://www.pitbullzen.com
http://inaradog.wordpress.com
User avatar
pitbullmamaliz
Working out in the buff causes chafing
 
Posts: 15438
Location: Cleveland, OH

Postby BullyLady » November 1st, 2008, 1:36 pm

Oh my, Toonces was absolutely beautiful. Sleep sweetly little man, your momma still loves you dearly.
"I'm not all bad but I'm a faithful sinner."
~Dave Matthews
Cathleen
Shelby - AB Mix 1 yr - CGC
User avatar
BullyLady
Proud Uber Nerd
 
Posts: 1060
Location: E Washington State

Postby iluvk9 » November 1st, 2008, 7:12 pm

Liz, the anniversaries are always tough. :( I still lose it on the anniversaries of my dogs passing, and Louie has been gone for 6 years. I hope you feel better today.
iluvk9
I'm Cougarific!
 
Posts: 14900
Location: New York

Postby pitbullmamaliz » November 1st, 2008, 9:56 pm

I do, Joyce, thank you.

Thanks everybody for the kind words. :groupHug:
"Remember - every time your dog gets somewhere on a tight leash *a fairy dies and it's all your fault.* Think of the fairies." http://www.positivepetzine.com"

http://www.pitbullzen.com
http://inaradog.wordpress.com
User avatar
pitbullmamaliz
Working out in the buff causes chafing
 
Posts: 15438
Location: Cleveland, OH

Postby amazincc » November 2nd, 2008, 12:04 am

I was racked with guilt. I felt I had just executed my [cat]. Each step of the procedure only enhanced that feeling. [Toonces] had sought my reassurance, which I used to betray him and trick him into remaining calm before the drugs were administered. Yes, I knew [Toonces] couldn't go on. Yes, I knew his condition would only get worse. Yes, I knew he had to be miserable and I was out of options. But I could not escape the fact that the [cat] we had taken home, who we loved and who loved us, who had been so happy and brought us so much joy was destroyed on my say-so. I had been responsible for deciding the day, time, and place of his death.

Who was I to make these decisions? Who was I to play God?

My guilt would only get worse.


Liz... :( :cry:
Anyone who "knows" you must realize that you did not make this decision lightly. Try to make peace w/yourself. :hug3:
User avatar
amazincc
Jessica & Mick
 
Posts: 9814
Location: Holding them both in my heart.


Return to Four Legged, Finned and Feathered Family Members

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users

cron