So, for a second time I am writing a "eulogy"... this time for my youngest daughter, Jessica.
Jessica was born on 3/6/1987. She was an easy child to raise, and I loved being her Mom.
Jessica was compassionate and had a big heart, especially for the "underdogs" in this world.
She loved school, had many friends, and was popular - but she never let that go to her head.
She wanted to become a doctor when she was small, and always told me that she wanted to provide free care for those who couldn't afford it otherwise.
She had big dreams, my daughter... one of them was to be able to adopt an unwanted older child, and she talked about this often. She would've made a terrific Mom some day.
Jessica was funny... she had a great sense of humor, and she smiled often.
She loved to read, write, and draw.
She was kind, compassionate, and giving.
She loved Mick, and used to call him her "pesky little brother". The two of them had a special relationship, right from the minute she discovered him under a neighbors back porch. And even though Mick ended up adopting me and being my heart dog - she never once resented him for it.
Jessica was diagnosed w/bi-polar disease when she was 13. It created much turmoil for her, but she tried to face it with courage and optimism.
She graduated from high school in 2006. She planned to go to college and decided to join the army in 2008 to help pay for her education.
She was diagnosed w/terminal cancer on September 3rd of this year... and lost her battle on October 5th at 3:40 pm.
I can't even begin to put into words how devestated I am.
Losing her and Mick within two days of each other is not something I can even comprehend yet... but I have to believe that they will watch over each other, wherever they may be.
I don't know how I will get through this, or if I ever will. I don't know how to carry on from here, by myself.
I do know that I will never be the same, and that this pain won't ever go away... it will be an ache in my heart that can never be healed.
I also know that the world is so much poorer without Jessica... and a lot less bright.
Be at peace now, Jess... and know that you were the very best part of me.
I will hold you in my heart as my biggest treasure... and I will miss you more than you'll ever know.
With so much love, and so much sorrow... Mom