1 year ago today a large piece of my heart died

Postby Beth » March 30th, 2008, 4:40 pm

On 3/30/07, a very large piece of my heart died forever. That is the day we helped Blaze cross the bridge.

You were 13 days past your 14th birthday. And as much as I wanted to keep you with me forever, I knew it was not fair to you any longer. Your body was failing you and we think you were in pain, though you never told us. Your poor nose was so raw and was just being eaten away. You could not see or hear any longer. Yet when we touched you, you raised your head to look in our direction and wagged your tail.

Blaze, holding you while Dr. Rock gave you that injection was the toughest thing I have ever had to do in my life. And still, 1 year later, it hurts like it was just this morning.

Logically, I know we did the right thing for you, Fudd. But emotionally, I feel like I failed you as a Mommy. Maybe I should have let you live longer. How do I really know you were ready? Maybe I waited too long? Was your pain so great and I was just too blind to it? These are questions I will never really know the answer to until we meet again.

Until then, my sweet Fudd, please know that Mommy loves you and misses you like crazy!
Mom to
Blaze 3/17/93 - 3/30/07
Onyx b 3/7/99
Duchess b 3/12/02 r 9/18/02
Rifle b 12/1/02 r 8/8/03
Diamond b 5/3/05 a 8/3/05
Luka r 5/16/07
Dixie b 10/20/06 a 4/1/08
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Postby gayrghts » March 30th, 2008, 4:49 pm

RIP Blaze....

Beth, you did what you and the vet felt was best, at the time... you'll never know for sure if you should have done it a month earlier or a month later.... but the bottom line is you did the BEST you possible could for your Fudd..

Blaze/Fudd would not want you to be miserable for a minute for him...

I'm sure he'd be nuzzeling and bugging you to get you to smile etc...

can you share a photo of blaze with us?
Heather

A dog teaches a (kid) boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.
- Robert Benchley
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Postby Beth » March 30th, 2008, 5:03 pm

Heather, I would be thrilled to share a photo of my Fudd.

Here he is on his 13th birthday.
Image

Here he is on his 14th birthday.
Image
Mom to
Blaze 3/17/93 - 3/30/07
Onyx b 3/7/99
Duchess b 3/12/02 r 9/18/02
Rifle b 12/1/02 r 8/8/03
Diamond b 5/3/05 a 8/3/05
Luka r 5/16/07
Dixie b 10/20/06 a 4/1/08
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Postby gayrghts » March 30th, 2008, 5:05 pm

Thanks Beth, what a beauty :)
Heather

A dog teaches a (kid) boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.
- Robert Benchley
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Postby pitbullmamaliz » March 30th, 2008, 5:06 pm

What a lovely tribute, Beth.

RIP handsome Blaze. You were obviously well-loved, and still are.
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Postby iluvk9 » March 30th, 2008, 6:17 pm

Beth, I am so sorry for your loss. Blaze was just gorgeous. I am sure he had a heart to match his outer beauty.

I know the pain never goes away, it just lessens a tiny bit.

Hugs to you, my friend. :hug3:
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Postby amazincc » March 30th, 2008, 8:22 pm

Mick and I are thinking of you and Blaze today, Beth... :hug3: :hug3:

He might've taken a piece of your heart with him... but he also still has a special spot in yours... heart-dogs never really "go away". :wink:
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Postby Jenn » March 30th, 2008, 8:36 pm

Sorry Beth :(
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Postby Judy » March 30th, 2008, 9:03 pm

On March 30 2008, Beth wrote: But emotionally, I feel like I failed you as a Mommy


I don't think Blaze saw it that way. I'm sure he felt the love and comfort you gave him all the way to the end. I bet he thinks you're a great mommy.

We all sometimes "second-guess" ourselves on the decisions we make.
I am sure you made the right decision for Blaze.

You and Blaze are in our thoughts today.
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Postby KJS » March 31st, 2008, 11:37 am

When you go over the Bridge surrounded by love and feeling blessed for all the years of great care you go over happy and prepared to wait until you meet again...rest easy Blaze
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Postby katiek0417 » March 31st, 2008, 4:35 pm

Beth, I'm sorry for your loss. You are in all of our thoughts here today. He was a handsome boy!

While you may never know if what you did was right, your heart gave you many answers when you made the decision.

My heart goes out to you... :cry: :hug3:
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