Odd situation - What would be an appropriate gift?

Everything that doesn't fit anywhere else!

Postby Hoyden » December 2nd, 2007, 9:11 pm

I'm trying to figure out what would be an appropriate gift for someone and would like some opinions and suggestions.

Kind of a weird situation.

Long story short, Birdie and I were attacked by an off leash golden retriever on Black Friday while were training at a public park. Unprovoked attack and Birdie was on lead. The golden redirected and I ended up bitten too. Birdie had several puncture wounds on her head and neck. Golden had no bite wounds, and no injuries other than those from being choked off Birdie. The owner was cited. Birdie was wearing her service dog vest too. (I don't know the extent of what charges will be filed - so I am not going to say more, but I am okay now, just sore.)

So the gift is for a kid that was there playing basketball with his buddies and came to help us. He helped get the Golden off of Birdie and put a leash on him, then he came with us to the ER because I didn't want to call an ambulance, the hospital was 2 miles away and I was bleeding.

He told me his name was Jamal on the way to the ER and he ended up stayed with us and held Birdie's leash while I was treated. He asked the nurse in the ER for some cotton, paper towels and peroxide to clean the blood off Birdie and then cleaned up her bite wounds while I was being treated.

I found out from the police officer that Jamal missed his check in with his probation officer on Friday afternoon because he was with us, so I went and visited the PO, with Birdie and a copy of my records from the ER and explained what happened so Jamal wouldn't get in trouble. Then I found out his mother went nuts because he missed his appointment, so I called her and explained and thanked her.

So I want to give this kid a gift to thank him for what he did for us. Also in the back of my head, I want to reinforce that going out of your way to help others and doing what you feel is the right thing is a good thing because he ended up getting into a lot of trouble because of helping us, even though I was able to straighten it out for him almost a week later. He comes from a pretty bad part of that city and I found out from the police officer that he was wearing gang colors. :shock:

I don't want to give him cash, but I was thinking of a gift card to the Mall or something like that. Maybe $50 or $100?? I'm not sure what is appropriate in this situation though.

What are your thoughts?
Moral courage is the most valuable and usually the most absent characteristic in men ~ General George S. Patton, Jr.

She taking all the stars down from her sky to hang them up someplace new, where there's better weather and the sky's a different blue. ~ Autumn Fields
User avatar
Hoyden
Collar Queen
 
Posts: 3342
Location: Hot, Hot Texas, Baby!

Postby airwalk » December 2nd, 2007, 9:16 pm

That was a terrible incident, but a very nice thing for the young man to do...here's my thoughts..rather than a gift card, something that will stay with him. You say he was playing basketball..maybe a basketball signed with a thank you by you and Birdie's pawprint? I know that sounds kind of cheezie..but with my boys..

Sounds as if you had a young man that really likes dogs .. so something that reminds him he helped you and your Birdie.

$$ and a gift card were the things people gave them that either didn't know what to get or really didn't care. So they'd go spend the $$ and that was that...no real thought on either end.

Sometimes the cheezy gifts given for the right reasons are the ones they really like and give pause for the longest thought.
User avatar
airwalk
I live here
 
Posts: 3791
Location: Oregon

Postby amazincc » December 2nd, 2007, 9:30 pm

Maybe a basket ball and a gift card???
That was very nice of Jamal... not too many kids would go out of their way to help a "stranger"... I don't think giving money necessarily says that you "don't care"... I'm sure money is scarce in that family and if it's included w/a small gift and a personal note... I would do both.

And I'm glad you and Birdie are okay... :hug3:
User avatar
amazincc
Jessica & Mick
 
Posts: 9814
Location: Holding them both in my heart.

Postby Jenn » December 2nd, 2007, 9:32 pm

I think in this situation anything you give him would make a world of difference. :) It was extremely nice of him to help you, and extremely nice of you to help him as well. Sometimes the smallest things in the world can make a world of difference, give him cash, gift certificate, ball, pic of birdie and gremlin in a cheesy card, anything really and I think he'd remember it for a long time.
User avatar
Jenn
undecided
 
Posts: 11382
Location: TX

Postby airwalk » December 2nd, 2007, 9:41 pm

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to infer that the gift card would be given without caring...I'm just talking about what my boys thought when they got that type of thing.

Maybe a ball or a pic of Birdie and a gift card...it is Christmas..so a gift care might be a very welcome gift for him.
User avatar
airwalk
I live here
 
Posts: 3791
Location: Oregon

Postby amazincc » December 2nd, 2007, 9:46 pm

On December 02 2007, 8:41 PM, airwalk wrote:I'm sorry, I didn't mean to infer that the gift card would be given without caring...I'm just talking about what my boys thought when they got that type of thing.

Maybe a ball or a pic of Birdie and a gift card...it is Christmas..so a gift care might be a very welcome gift for him.


Oh, I didn't take your post that way... I'm not usually a fan of giving just money... but sometimes that IS an appropriate thing to give, considering where that boy lives... :wink:
User avatar
amazincc
Jessica & Mick
 
Posts: 9814
Location: Holding them both in my heart.

Postby SisMorphine » December 2nd, 2007, 9:57 pm

I would think the concern, especially since he was supposedly wearing gang colors, is that he'd spend the cash on drugs or something else undesirable. If he got a gift card to the mall he could buy clothes, maybe a gift certificate for a supermarket so his family could treat themselves for Christmas would be nice.


Noel, I'm so sorry this happened to you. But this kid is just awesome and with your permission I would love to share this story with my kids who, like Jamaal, are good kids who have done wrong in the past. I want to show them that people really DO care for those who have been in trouble before. What goes around comes around and all that jazz. Let me know . . .
"All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another." -Anatole France
SisMorphine
They're like service dogs gone wrong.
 
Posts: 9233
Location: PR

Postby Hoyden » December 2nd, 2007, 10:10 pm

On December 02 2007, 8:57 PM, SisMorphine wrote:I would think the concern, especially since he was supposedly wearing gang colors, is that he'd spend the cash on drugs or something else undesirable. If he got a gift card to the mall he could buy clothes, maybe a gift certificate for a supermarket so his family could treat themselves for Christmas would be nice.


Noel, I'm so sorry this happened to you. But this kid is just awesome and with your permission I would love to share this story with my kids who, like Jamaal, are good kids who have done wrong in the past. I want to show them that people really DO care for those who have been in trouble before. What goes around comes around and all that jazz. Let me know . . .


I wrote a statement for his PO just in case he wasn't there when I went to see him. I'll add to that and change names and email it to you.


Alyssa is right, he's been in trouble for drugs. That's why I'm steering away from cash.

Someone suggested college or NBA tickets so I'm going to look into what is available.
Moral courage is the most valuable and usually the most absent characteristic in men ~ General George S. Patton, Jr.

She taking all the stars down from her sky to hang them up someplace new, where there's better weather and the sky's a different blue. ~ Autumn Fields
User avatar
Hoyden
Collar Queen
 
Posts: 3342
Location: Hot, Hot Texas, Baby!

Postby Asta » December 3rd, 2007, 2:06 am

I am so sorry to hear that you and Birdie got attacked, but glad that that it is ok now!

What a wonderful thing of this young man Jamal to do!!! NBA tickets sound perfect for someone that loves basketball, and as you have already mentioned, went out of his way to help a lady and her dog although it got him into trouble. That is so moving and sadly rare in our society today!!!

Cheers,

Ã…sa
User avatar
Asta
Welcome Wagger
 
Posts: 3115
Location: Everywhere

Postby BigDogBuford » December 3rd, 2007, 3:09 am

NBA tickets, a gift basket of food items and flowers for his mom?
~Jeanine

You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
User avatar
BigDogBuford
I love snipe hunts.
 
Posts: 2053
Location: Lake Stevens, WA

Postby gayrghts » December 3rd, 2007, 4:39 am

I work with similar kids.... sadly no matter what you give him.... gift card, money, etc it can/will be changed into money that can be used to buy drugs or gang color's stuff etc if he wants to.

Is there something that you can do, with your skills... ie your collar making skills..... maybe to put his name on something.... in NON gang colors.... lol if you know what gang i may be able to help with color suggestions.... maybe a cap, or a messenger bag, or something that would have meaning.... along with a note.... plus if you put his name on it.... there's little or no chance that he'll be able to sell it...

Also.... if you have it in you.... you might want to offer to be a "resource" for this kid... ie allowing this kid to assist you with something... either for a small amt of pay, or just for the time spent with you and the dog.... etc

Kids like this often need healthy adults who care.... and it sounds like he cares enough to help.... so you may have a way to reach out....

BUT please do it safely, these kids also have ways of harming people... ie getting in as friends and then stealing etc because that's all they know.
Heather

A dog teaches a (kid) boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.
- Robert Benchley
User avatar
gayrghts
I live here
 
Posts: 2346
Location: upstate ny

Postby iluvk9 » December 3rd, 2007, 7:32 am

On December 03 2007, gayrghts wrote:
BUT please do it safely, these kids also have ways of harming people... ie getting in as friends and then stealing etc because that's all they know.



Your entire post was well stated, Heather. The above quote is very important, as Noel has 2 daughters.


I corresponded with a student of mine who was in prison for 12 years. We would like to think we make a difference, and although we do, OFTEN tigers don't change their stripes. You always hope you are the catalyst to start change in their lives, but don't take it personal if it doesn't happen.
iluvk9
I'm Cougarific!
 
Posts: 14900
Location: New York

Postby amazincc » December 3rd, 2007, 7:59 am

You guys sound so ... jaded... or I'm just too gullible... :(
User avatar
amazincc
Jessica & Mick
 
Posts: 9814
Location: Holding them both in my heart.

Postby SisMorphine » December 3rd, 2007, 8:11 am

On December 03 2007, 6:59 AM, amazincc wrote:You guys sound so ... jaded... or I'm just too gullible... :(

Unfortunately it's not jaded, it's realistic with these kids. Though I will say, most of my kids wouldn't go as far as selling material gifts for money for drugs, but if given cash it definitely wouldn't be used to buy clothing and pizza.
"All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another." -Anatole France
SisMorphine
They're like service dogs gone wrong.
 
Posts: 9233
Location: PR

Postby Wyldmoonwoman » December 3rd, 2007, 8:43 am

I am so sorry to hear about that incident, but what a nice kid!

I vote for a 2008 calendar with pit bulls that is rescue themed, in addition to whatever you decide to do and figure out a way to educate him and his friends! The thugs are the future dog fighters.
"If I were not a man, I would like to be a bird. As I am a man, I do the next best thing, and ride a bicycle." -- Rev. Maltie, a cyclist in the late 1800s
User avatar
Wyldmoonwoman
Full of Bully
 
Posts: 2029
Location: Upstate, NY

Postby TheRedQueen » December 3rd, 2007, 10:48 am

I'm so sorry to hear about you and Birdie...that must have been scary.

I read all of the responses, and my first thought was gift card, maybe to a sports store? I don't deal with kids...so I don't really know what *most* kids would do...but you can just do it, and maybe he'll really use it there.

I do like the basketball idea too...and the calendar. Something to go along with the gift card.
"I don't have any idea if my dogs respect me or not, but they're greedy and I have their stuff." -- Patty Ruzzo

"Dogs don't want to control people. They want to control their own lives." --John Bradshaw
User avatar
TheRedQueen
I thought I lost my Wiener... but then I found him.
 
Posts: 7184
Location: Maryland

Postby katiek0417 » December 3rd, 2007, 10:59 am

Noel,

I'd also love to share that story...I teach at an HBCU, and I know there are people here who are involved with gangs...

However, I am glad to hear that you and Birdie are okay. It's not too often that you hear about a young person, gang member or not, willing to help another person in need...I'd say he's probably a good kid underneath it all, and probably fell victim his environment
"Rumor has it, compulsion is evil."

Katrina
Sacha CGC - Dumb Lab
Nisha CGC, PDC, PSA TC, PSA 1 - Crazy Malinois
Drusilla SLUT- Pet
Nemo - Dual-Purpose Narcotics
Cy TC, PSA 1, PSA 2, 2009 PSA Level 3 National Champion
Axo - Psycho Puppy
Rocky - RIP My Baby Boy
User avatar
katiek0417
pointy ear hoarder
 
Posts: 6280
Location: Glen Burnie, MD

Postby lellis34 » December 3rd, 2007, 12:17 pm

Just thought I'd throw in my two cents here.

I'd say go with tickets to a game, go with the college game as they're not so tempting to sell as NBA. And, if you call the media department for the team, tell them the story, they might even donate them and see if he can meet some of the players. Maybe inspire him to pursue further education and what not. Really make it an event/opportunity.

Also, you're pretty connected in the doggie world it seems. Any chance that you might know someone with a program or center or something that he might be able to get involved with. Maybe say something to him about how well he tended to Birdie and would he be interested in working with animals - maybe at a shelter or rescue or even a vet who might take an apprentice. Again, an opportunity for him to do something bigger outside of himself.

Both might be a little cheesy or super altruistic than what you're looking for. But for something simpler - I'd go with an appreciative note and game tickets.
Ming Ming: “celery is great after a good pee”
Tuck: “you can say that again”
Ming Ming: “celery is great after a good pee”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vW-ZxcPE33w
User avatar
lellis34
Bull Meister
 
Posts: 1370
Location: Denial

Postby katiek0417 » December 3rd, 2007, 12:20 pm

I love Lynn's idea!!!
"Rumor has it, compulsion is evil."

Katrina
Sacha CGC - Dumb Lab
Nisha CGC, PDC, PSA TC, PSA 1 - Crazy Malinois
Drusilla SLUT- Pet
Nemo - Dual-Purpose Narcotics
Cy TC, PSA 1, PSA 2, 2009 PSA Level 3 National Champion
Axo - Psycho Puppy
Rocky - RIP My Baby Boy
User avatar
katiek0417
pointy ear hoarder
 
Posts: 6280
Location: Glen Burnie, MD

Postby cheekymunkee » December 3rd, 2007, 12:34 pm

On December 03 2007, 6:11 AM, SisMorphine wrote:
On December 03 2007, 6:59 AM, amazincc wrote:You guys sound so ... jaded... or I'm just too gullible... :(

Unfortunately it's not jaded, it's realistic with these kids. Though I will say, most of my kids wouldn't go as far as selling material gifts for money for drugs, but if given cash it definitely wouldn't be used to buy clothing and pizza.


Sure they would! Back in the day ( long, long ago when I sold pot) I took gift cards for 50 cents on the dollar. Food stamps too. if there's a will, there's a way. :wink:
There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.

Debby
User avatar
cheekymunkee
I Have Your Grass
 
Posts: 28540
Location: Dallas

Next

Return to Off-Topic

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: MichaelCaks