I have a BIG SECRET!

Keep yourself busy at work!

Postby iluvk9 » May 13th, 2007, 9:35 am

On May 13 2007, KJS wrote:Oh and as for my secret its not really a secret because Cheeky lets me tell everybody :)


Tell us again...
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Postby KJS » May 13th, 2007, 3:10 pm

I have fake boobies! :D
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Postby Malli » May 13th, 2007, 3:22 pm

On May 13 2007, iluvk9 wrote:
On May 13 2007, Malli wrote:I bet everyone has been saying Mal-ie in their heads!


OMG! :shock: THAT alone could have been your secret! I always say "Mal-ie". LMAO


well, I'm glad you were surprised, Joyce :lol3:

I have fake boobies!

That's probably one of the best ones of the whole thread!
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Postby luvmypitties » May 17th, 2007, 10:37 am

I want fake boobies. My dad's girlfriend has them, and so does my aunt.

I guess my secret is that I have been trying to get back with that boyfriend of mine for months. I have changed everything about my life to make him happy so he will want to come back to me. So Sis you losing weight for a guy I think is good. I think it is a good character in a woman to do things to please her man.

And that video of Joyce was great! Has the booty shake down pat.
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Postby iluvk9 » May 17th, 2007, 11:29 am

On May 17 2007, luvmypitties wrote: I have changed everything about my life to make him happy so he will want to come back to me.... I think it is a good character in a woman to do things to please her man.


You and I need to talk!
:shock:
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Postby Big_Ant » May 17th, 2007, 11:39 am

On 05/17/2007 8:29 AM, iluvk9 wrote:
On May 17 2007, luvmypitties wrote: I have changed everything about my life to make him happy so he will want to come back to me.... I think it is a good character in a woman to do things to please her man.


You and I need to talk!
:shock:


Yes Joyce. Talk to that girl. That's ridiculous!

No one should feel they have to change to get a particular person. If he/she doesn't want you for who you are, then they aren't the person for you.

The world exists outside of your town, and contrary to the teenie bopper belief, there are other men who are available and do what that guy you are drooling over does AND SOME.

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Postby luvmypitties » May 17th, 2007, 12:08 pm

Why do you want to talk to me?? I hope I am not in trouble. I have been with this guy for over 2 years. I have made mistakes in the relationship and in order for me to gain back I guess my position is to change my life to make it so my boyfriend is comfortable with what I do. And that way there is no room for error as I will not do the things he doesnt like. Fixes everything!
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Our thoughts and prayers are with Mick and Christine! We love you both!

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Postby Big_Ant » May 17th, 2007, 12:24 pm

On 05/17/2007 9:08 AM, luvmypitties wrote:I have been with this guy for over 2 years.

guess my secret is that I have been trying to get back with that boyfriend of mine for months.


Doesn't sound like you two are together.

Off and On Relationship ALMOST never work out.

If it's not too private, what was it that you were doing that he didn't like?

It could be the difference in he doesn't like you 'talking with so-and-so' or him not liking you 'being around him'. Big Big Difference!!!

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Postby randi81 » May 17th, 2007, 12:26 pm

On May 17 2007, 12:08 PM, luvmypitties wrote:Why do you want to talk to me?? I hope I am not in trouble. I have been with this guy for over 2 years. I have made mistakes in the relationship and in order for me to gain back I guess my position is to change my life to make it so my boyfriend is comfortable with what I do. And that way there is no room for error as I will not do the things he doesnt like. Fixes everything!


Awe honey... when you guys broke up, it was obviously for a reason. Changing your life and who YOU are isn't going to fix anything. If you give up things to suit him, you will end up resenting him in the long run. I know you didn't ask for any of our advice, but that's my 2 cents anyways! :wink:
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Postby cheekymunkee » May 17th, 2007, 12:27 pm

No one wants you lose sight of YOURSELF for some stupid man ( sorry to all the stupid men) :wink:
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Postby luvmypitties » May 17th, 2007, 12:30 pm

Advice is always welcome.

We did break up for a reason. It was my fault. I lied to him to keep him from getting mad at me and he later found out. I was talking to a guy who was my friend for longer than me and my boyfriend had been dating. But he wasnt comfortable with it so I said I would stop talking to him. I was slowly stopping and he got mad because I didnt fully stop when i said I would.

I believe the relationship will work out once i gaine back trust and he isnt so angry with me anymore. And all of that will take time.
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Our thoughts and prayers are with Mick and Christine! We love you both!

RIP my precious Noah! You are greatly missed and still so loved!!! 7-12-06-- 2-21-07
RIP Abby! I always loved you!
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Postby SisMorphine » May 17th, 2007, 12:35 pm

On May 17 2007, 11:30 AM, luvmypitties wrote:Advice is always welcome.

We did break up for a reason. It was my fault. I lied to him to keep him from getting mad at me and he later found out. I was talking to a guy who was my friend for longer than me and my boyfriend had been dating. But he wasnt comfortable with it so I said I would stop talking to him. I was slowly stopping and he got mad because I didnt fully stop when i said I would.

I believe the relationship will work out once i gaine back trust and he isnt so angry with me anymore. And all of that will take time.

Sure you lied, but if all you were doing was truly just talking to this guy, then I think your ex/boyf over-reacted. My best friend is a guy. We've been friends for well over 10 years. If I was EVER dating a guy who said I couldn't talk to him (or any of my other guy friends) that would be the end. Telling you who you can and can't talk to is very controlling . . . and not at all healthy.

Now that's not to say I liked all of the people that my ex was friends with, and that he liked everyone that I was friends with, and we would express our distaste to each other, but I would have NEVER imagined telling him who he could and couldn't hang out with and talk to (nor the other way around).

Now if you were cheating on him with said friend, that's a whole different issue.
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Postby Big_Ant » May 17th, 2007, 12:38 pm

I have changed everything about my life to make him happy so he will want to come back to me.... I think it is a good character in a woman to do things to please her man.

This statement leads me to believe there is much more to the story, or you are changing more than just not talking to one particular guy.

I'm sorry, I'm not trying to be rude, I'm actually just trying to look out for you. It's not a good idea, as others have said, to try and make a ton of changes just to appease someone else.

- Anthony
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Postby luvmypitties » May 17th, 2007, 12:42 pm

My boyfriend is an angry guy when things arent done how he likes it. I have never cheated on him or anything close to that. I lied to him to keep him from getting mad at me. That was it. I have changed everything because he thinks I am going out talking to guys, or he doesnt particularly like my friends, or something along those lines. So I dont go out so he cant think i am doing anything. I work and sit at home. I want to make things work with him as I do love him very much! He is a good guy. Loves my dogs. Loves my cats and loves that I do rescue. He has a stable job which will lead him to betteropportnuities later, he has a wonderful family I just love. Everything else is perfect!
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Our thoughts and prayers are with Mick and Christine! We love you both!

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Postby randi81 » May 17th, 2007, 12:45 pm

On May 17 2007, 12:35 PM, SisMorphine wrote:
On May 17 2007, 11:30 AM, luvmypitties wrote:Advice is always welcome.

We did break up for a reason. It was my fault. I lied to him to keep him from getting mad at me and he later found out. I was talking to a guy who was my friend for longer than me and my boyfriend had been dating. But he wasnt comfortable with it so I said I would stop talking to him. I was slowly stopping and he got mad because I didnt fully stop when i said I would.

I believe the relationship will work out once i gaine back trust and he isnt so angry with me anymore. And all of that will take time.

Sure you lied, but if all you were doing was truly just talking to this guy, then I think your ex/boyf over-reacted. My best friend is a guy. We've been friends for well over 10 years. If I was EVER dating a guy who said I couldn't talk to him (or any of my other guy friends) that would be the end. Telling you who you can and can't talk to is very controlling . . . and not at all healthy.


Sis nailed it right on the head. If your boyfriend wanted you to stop talking to a guy you've been friends with for years, then he has some of his own issues going on. And you know what I've come to realize? When someone is accusing you of doing this or that, it's normally because THEY are the ones doing this or that!

Cory doesn't like the fact that one of my very best friends is a really attractive guy named Jimmy.. but he wouldn't dare tell me to stop talking to him. I don't DO controlling, and no self respecting woman should. :|

We all have our own trust issues -- god knows Cory and I have ours.. and it's 100% MY fault, I won't get into it, so PM me if you wanna hear my lovely story. :wink:
-Randi.

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Postby Wyldmoonwoman » May 17th, 2007, 12:52 pm

On May 17 2007, 10:37 AM, luvmypitties wrote:I want fake boobies. My dad's girlfriend has them, and so does my aunt.

I guess my secret is that I have been trying to get back with that boyfriend of mine for months. I have changed everything about my life to make him happy so he will want to come back to me. So Sis you losing weight for a guy I think is good. I think it is a good character in a woman to do things to please her man.

And that video of Joyce was great! Has the booty shake down pat.


Awww...honey, you will not be happy in the long run, trust me, since this is the secret thread, I'll play to help you out...I met my husband when I was 16, my dad is an abusive alcoholic and it was my way out...I allowed him to control me for 15 years and the past 6 years I have been fighting his control to reclaim my life because I looked in the mirror one day and realized that I had no friends of my own, no hobbies of my own, no socialization or creative outlet of my own, not even my style of dress was my own anymore...it is very hard, it has taken alot of therapy and marriage counseling. If I knew what I know now, I would never have compromised my personal hopes, dreams, beliefs, friends, values..you can certainly do things to please you man, i enjoy making naked dinner sometimes because it pleases my husband, but I do things to please him on my terms, never again will I listen to him when he says that he does not like my friends or my shoes. If you compromise yourself for a man, you can't be a good partner
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Postby SisMorphine » May 17th, 2007, 12:53 pm

You lied to him so he wouldn't get mad at you for TALKING to someone, though! That is lack of trust, and lack of respect for other people's feelings.

My good friend has been dating his current girlfriend for about 4 years now. For the first 2 years she was basically a stay at home girlfriend, watching him play video games, not drinking because he didn't drink, not going out with her friends because he didn't want her to, he wanted to keep an eye on her. Then one day she snapped. She told him that he needed to TRUST her, that she loved him more than anything but her personality isn't one that stays at home, it's one that goes out on the weekends, goes to parties, gets drunk, and has fun! His choice was between letting her actually be herself and have fun and have his trust, or leave her. There was a lot of friction at first, and he still calls every 30 minutes if she's out past 11pm, but she's happy now. And guess what . . . he's FINALLY started to let loose and have fun also.

The boy I'm trying to get with likes my fiestiness. He likes that I have an opinion, he likes that I like to go out and be social with or without him, that's why we used to be such a great couple. Our break-up involved depression, sexual confusion, cheating, and disrespect. These are things we have talked about extensively, and they're things that we have both been working out for the past 5 years that we've been apart. Am I changing for him? In a way. I'm losing weight to make ME feel better, though, as he is too much of a gentleman to ever say anything about that, and I (and he) have changed our old ways because we both were miserable when we acted like that. Chalk it up to being young, dumb, and horny.

Anger, jealousy, disrespect and mistrust have NO place in a healthy relationship.
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Postby Big_Ant » May 17th, 2007, 12:56 pm

On 05/17/2007 9:42 AM, luvmypitties wrote:My boyfriend is an angry guy when things arent done how he likes it.

And that's what you want to be with?

I have changed everything because he thinks I am going out talking to guys, or he doesnt particularly like my friends, or something along those lines. So I dont go out so he cant think i am doing anything. I work and sit at home.

So you are sacrificing your own self and your own life for the good of a guy who gets mad at you for not doing things his way?

Sounds a$$ backwards to me.

It sounds to me like you are listening to us with closed ears. You wanna hear it cause you don't want to say "GET OUT OF MY BUSINESS" but you are going to do what you wanna do, and what you wanna do is give up YOU for him?

He has a stable job which will lead him to betteropportnuities later

What?

Everything else is perfect!

Famous last quote of quite a few women (and men) who are no longer happy with themselves after giving it all up and not being able to get out now.
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Postby mnp13 » May 17th, 2007, 1:05 pm

Why would you want to be with someone who wants to own your life? You go to work or sit at home? What kind of life is that? Relationships are about trust. He clearly doesn't trust you if he wants to control who you see or who you talk to.

In college my boyfriend needed a housemate to afford his apartment. I lived on campus. His friend Cathy needed a new place and moved in with him. People freaked. It made no difference to me - if I couldn't trust him out of my sight why would I bother being with him. I expect... no demand ... the same consideration.

I never have been in a relationship where I have to worry about what the other person is doing. I have slept in the same bed with a guy because there was one bed and I didn't want to sleep on the floor with 5 other people. Didn't faze my boyfriend one bit. Why? Trust. And I hate that "I trust you, I just don't trust them" what a pile of horse crap. Unless I was hanging out with people who I was in danger of assult from, there is nothing to base that BS on.

I think it is a good character in a woman to do things to please her man.

of course it is... (and the reverse is also true) however those things include: cooking a nice dinner as a surprise, sending him out with his buddies for a "guys night", crating the dogs in another room so you can have some uninterrupted "quality time," or other things. It does NOT include giving up your friends because he has decided that he doesn't like them.
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Postby Jenn » May 17th, 2007, 2:01 pm

Awww Tina :hug3: I have to agree with the others. :goodStuff:


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