Who thinks they found the "ONE"?

Everything that doesn't fit anywhere else!

Postby Kangas Mommy » February 12th, 2006, 4:42 pm

My friend is killing me. She wont keep dating someone if she doesnt think hes the one. Needless to say she dont have a boyfriend at the time. Does anyone else do this? She says shes not the only girl that is searching for the one....Here is our convo from today, i am roxystitch626.

Roxy Stitch 626 [3:21 P.M.]: lol does this mean you will not date anyone until you find the ONE!
venusMOONgoddess [3:21 P.M.]: hahahaha no
venusMOONgoddess [3:21 P.M.]: but dating doesnt mean ill marry him either
venusMOONgoddess [3:21 P.M.]: i guess me and aaron are dating
venusMOONgoddess [3:22 P.M.]: i dont know we havent really discussed it
venusMOONgoddess [3:22 P.M.]: just means im not settling down like moving in or whatever lol
Roxy Stitch 626 [3:24 P.M.]: yeah i guess thats a good point
venusMOONgoddess [3:24 P.M.]: basically im tryin hardest not to get hurt again thats the real point lol
Roxy Stitch 626 [3:25 P.M.]: yeah...
venusMOONgoddess [3:26 P.M.]: i mean i know its enveitable but ya know just building walls so it doesnt hurt so much lol
Roxy Stitch 626 [3:28 P.M.]: so if you find the one do you know right away or does it take time?
venusMOONgoddess [3:29 P.M.]: i think u know pretty soon at least thats what the people who say they found the one said
venusMOONgoddess [3:29 P.M.]: i mean u may not know the instant u meet them but still
Roxy Stitch 626 [3:30 P.M.]: lol you crack me up
venusMOONgoddess [3:30 P.M.]: y?
Roxy Stitch 626 [3:31 P.M.]: just because i never heard anyone talk about the one stuff but you ,...its silly

venusMOONgoddess [3:32 P.M.]: hahahah really i think your silly
venusMOONgoddess [3:32 P.M.]: y is it silly sure u can be w/ someone and it makes sense but that doesnt mean it will last its convient
venusMOONgoddess [3:32 P.M.]: youve never heard it on tv or anything?
Roxy Stitch 626 [3:32 P.M.]: lol nope....
Roxy Stitch 626 [3:33 P.M.]: and there are hundreds of people that could be the one not just one....if there was only one the one no one would find them
venusMOONgoddess [3:33 P.M.]: thats not true
venusMOONgoddess [3:33 P.M.]: your meant to find them and fate will find a way
Roxy Stitch 626 [3:34 P.M.]: are you serious?
venusMOONgoddess [3:34 P.M.]: there are millions that could be the one that could work but for some reason it doesnt like me and jer we couldve worked i mean we did for how long
venusMOONgoddess [3:34 P.M.]: hahaha yeah im serious y u think im so silly
Roxy Stitch 626 [3:34 P.M.]: lol your killing me...
venusMOONgoddess [3:35 P.M.]: i know i try
venusMOONgoddess [3:37 P.M.]: how else do u explain how so many couples stay together so long lol
Roxy Stitch 626 [3:37 P.M.]: Working things out, not just giving up....

WTH?!?!?!? :|
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Postby AllAmericanPUP » February 12th, 2006, 4:54 pm

just depends on what you believe

i believe there is that one person out there for everybody

everyone believes something different..you shouldnt make your friend feel stupid or silly because of what she believes
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Postby Kangas Mommy » February 12th, 2006, 4:55 pm

But will you hold out until you find them? What if they live in another country and you never even get to meet that person??? :|
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Postby girlie » February 12th, 2006, 5:16 pm

If you are truly meant to meet "the" person for you, you will!
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Postby AllAmericanPUP » February 12th, 2006, 5:20 pm

Kangas Mommy wrote:But will you hold out until you find them? What if they live in another country and you never even get to meet that person??? :|


would i not date because i dont think the person is the one, is that what you're asking?

if thats what you're asking then no. I believe you have to date someone and spend some time with them to get to know them to find out if you're good for each other...
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Postby Romanwild » February 12th, 2006, 5:21 pm

Too many movies and fairy tales.

All I can say is that when I meet a girl that thinks that way I know that as soon as they see a blemish in my character or if I accidentally fart they will be out the door.

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Postby Violet » February 12th, 2006, 5:43 pm

Life and relationships..you meet..you fall in love..you commit to each other..then it gets iffy. Eventually you actually start seeing their flaws..and those flaws start bugging you. Sometimes they downright piss you off. You can high tail it as soon as it gets rough..or you can make it work til it gets good again. I have been with my husband for 15 years and going strong. Admittedly it hasn't been a rosey path but a path worth taking none the less. Is he the one? Damns traight..and at the moments when he doesn't want ME to be the one I beat him into submission lol
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Postby JCleve86 » February 13th, 2006, 12:42 am

Life wisdom from my twenty year old, single self. Eat it up ya'll. lol

There is no such thing as "the one." There's just "the one" you make it work with. I think a lot of folks today (perhaps mostly young people?) confuse love and lust. Lust may very well begin a relationship, but it certainly won't maintain one. That takes two people who can stand each other enough to realize that once the butterflies fade, they have to (and are willing to) have patience, faith, and mostly, the desire to make it work once they get to "the real thing."

Unfortunately, my picky self is probably going to be single for a long while because I, like your friend, get cold feet rather quickly. I like to think I just know what I want and I know whether I have it or not. Or I'm just a biotch. One of the two. :|
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Postby DemoDick » February 13th, 2006, 12:52 am

Love songs, romance stories and movies are one of the prime reasons for bad mental health. They paint a completely unrealistic picture or relationships and make everyone who doesn't have a movie perfect romance feel like they got cheated out of something.

Love is never having to say you're sorry? Bullsh!t. Love is always being one step ahead of the other person with an explanation for whatever you just did.

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Postby cheekymunkee » February 13th, 2006, 1:03 am

I don't believe in someone for everyone and I don't believe people are meant to be together for life. People change, tastes change. The person you love today may turn your stomach tomorrow. Live life as it comes & enjoy the ride for what it is.
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Postby JCleve86 » February 13th, 2006, 1:07 am

cheekymunkee wrote:I don't believe in someone for everyone and I don't believe people are meant to be together for life. People change, tastes change. The person you love today may turn your stomach tomorrow. Live life as it comes & enjoy the ride for what it is.


See...to a certain extent I agree. But than again, that sounds like a cop-out to me. Don't put the work in because "people change." You know? People do change, but if you are committed enough you can change together and/or at least tolerate the change in your partner, and move on with life, rather than throw your hands in the air and say "I quit."
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Postby Kangas Mommy » February 13th, 2006, 10:23 am

This has become very interesting. Good to see different points of view. I was with my BF for 4 years and i still dont know if hes the one? I would like him to be but you just never know. Now that we bought a house together i kinda hope that he is "the one" but i never thought about it like my friend does. She obsesses about it. It scares me really. I think she is crazy! lol But i now see she isnt the only person who thinks this way.
:|
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Postby msvette2u » February 13th, 2006, 11:10 am

JCleve86 wrote:Life wisdom from my twenty year old, single self. Eat it up ya'll. lol

There is no such thing as "the one." There's just "the one" you make it work with. I think a lot of folks today (perhaps mostly young people?) confuse love and lust. Lust may very well begin a relationship, but it certainly won't maintain one. That takes two people who can stand each other enough to realize that once the butterflies fade, they have to (and are willing to) have patience, faith, and mostly, the desire to make it work once they get to "the real thing."

Unfortunately, my picky self is probably going to be single for a long while because I, like your friend, get cold feet rather quickly. I like to think I just know what I want and I know whether I have it or not. Or I'm just a biotch. One of the two. :|

You're right, as usual Jamie! :)
I saw an article the other day about how the lust feelings fade, that's how we're biologically programmed! After that you make a choice to be together.
Some cultures have arranged marriages. The article said something to the effect of, they figure, since lust is so fleeting a feeling, why base your marriage on it!?
I was in a waiting room and forget the name of the magazine, or I'd refer you to it. It was really a good article. If I actually wake up this morning and remember it, I'll come back and post it :)
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Postby msvette2u » February 13th, 2006, 1:39 pm

Found it!!

http://www7.nationalgeographic.com/ngm/ ... media.html

It was the National Geographic Magazine, this is a video story. Talks about the same things. The article is great to read, if you get the magazine or can find one for February '06.
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Postby pibblegrl » February 13th, 2006, 7:30 pm

So much romance and fairy tale stories.

The "one" is the person who loves you not inspite of your flaws but because you are you and that person will embrace those flaws...

I think if you spend your life looking for "the one" you may end up missing out on something really great.

Whether you believe in a "one" or not....a lot of relationships take a lot of work to last and be good relationships. You can't just find your 'one' and get comfy cozy and think it'll last just because. JMO :P

I don't really think anything I just typed made any sense but I am having a hard time getting my brain to think in a straight line. :? :rolleyes2:
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Postby Hoyden » February 13th, 2006, 8:31 pm

My personal feeling is that you need to "Rent to Own" before you get married. And that what I did.

I always tell my daughters, marry your best friend and make sure he's willing to share the garage and the tools. and Don't go to bed mad at each other.

Lust doesn't last forever, after it's gone, what's left???

If you marry someone who is your friend and partner, then your relationship will last..
Moral courage is the most valuable and usually the most absent characteristic in men ~ General George S. Patton, Jr.

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