Allow me to explain.. (long)

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Postby anissa » June 12th, 2006, 3:00 am

Ive recieved both good.. and well, some not so good comments over the last couple of days regarding our pup and our situation. Instead of repeating myself in multiple threads/PM's, I hope you can give me the opportunity to address it here.

If you've followed my introduction and previous posts, you'll know that buying Brock from a BYB was sort of an impulse decision. We hadnt planned on adding another pit to our family, nevermind another male.. however we couldnt bear to leave him where he was, to be sold to god knows who (especially in our area - ask Charles) for a measely $50. I understand that some of you may think that we were just encouraging the BYB to breed more, by giving them money.. and you're probably right. However, I also know that if we hadnt have bought Brock.. someone else would have and they still would have made their precious money. Regardless.. atleast I can rest easier knowing I was able to save one poor pup from that litter, and had I been able to, Id have bought and saved them all.

When the decision was made, and we brought Brock home, we sincerely intended on keeping him. I admit that besides basic knowledge of the breed, I have been in the dark until I found this forum. Considering we had no intention of adding another pit, I didnt have reason to research multi-pit households, nevermind same sex households. As I spent more time reading posts here, on other forums and multiple websites.. I realized that keeping him may not be the best for him, or the rest of my family.

With my lack of experience, my husband deploying to Iraq for the next 12-18 months, my upcoming surgery, a daughter and our 2 year old/male Charlie to take care of.. As strong, committed and determined as I am.. I know I will not be capable of providing the best home for Brock, and/or the best supervision over 2 immature males.

Some have expressed that what I am doing is irresponsible, and although you are entitled to your opinion.. MY definition of irresponsible would have been: A) leaving him with the breeder with a festering infection B) Not spending the time nor money on treating his infection C) Not giving a rats ass about getting his shots/chipping/neutering D) dropping him off at the nearest shelter and E) not bother to be on this forum in the first place. I may be inexperienced, but I seriously encourage you to reconsider your definition of 'irresponsible'.

After sleepless nights, teedering thoughts, neverending reading and research.. we have made a heartbreaking decision to re-home him. It enrages me that some of you think we're taking the 'easy' way out. By no means has this decision been easy. It gets harder and harder each time I look at him, each time he cuddles up to me, each time he plays with Charlie and I fool myself for a minute thinking.. maybe.. just MAYBE this can work and neither of them will show signs of DA towards each other. We are doing the right thing.. and its NOT easy.

Even if I was experienced/educated and knew better than to bring another male into the house.. I STILL would have taken him out of that situation. Id still be looking to rehome him, and Id still rest easier knowing I could screen and find him the perfect forever home.

It wasnt by chance that I was browsing the local ads and found him for sale. It wasnt by chance that I could afford to buy him that day. It wasnt by chance that I picked the pup with an infection that needed immediate medical attention. I believe all of this happened for a reason, and that reason was to save just one more of our babies.

I really do appreciate the positive support Ive been recieving, infact I even appreciate the negative comments/PM's, believe it or not.. Ive learnt from each one of them. But instead of putting your energy into trying to peg me as irresponsible and ignorant.. Id really appreciate if you would put that energy into helping me become more educated, and offer advice/tips on how to find the best home for Brock.

I am still open for any comments you want to throw at me. I havent been and I wont be butthurt over anything anyone has to say, but if this isnt a good enough explaination of why we've done what we've done.. you're just not going to get it.
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Postby Maryellen » June 12th, 2006, 8:14 am

Anissa, whatever decision you make i will stand beside you like i told you. i will help you in whatever way you need, just call/pm/email me and i will help you through whatever decisions you make.
you made a mistake, you are only human, and with everything going on in your life you have made your decision wisely. whether you decide to surrender brock to a reputable rescue, or rehome him your self, that is your decision. you have come here to learn, and while some of the pm's you might receive might sound harsh, you are learning and doing what is best for brock and for charlie.
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Postby dogcrazyjen » June 12th, 2006, 8:39 am

I guess I missed all of this. I do not think you are iresponsible at all. Recognizing a mistake, then remedying it before anything bad happens is a very responsible thing to do.

You bought a BYB dog. We all screw up. Most of us at one time or another did something impulsive and then later realized it was a mistake. Now you are thinking of what is best- not for you, but for Brock. THAT is being responsible. You are not dumping him off in a pound, or leaving him on the side of a road, you are finding him a new home. How on earth can that be seen as irresponsible?

I don't know what others said to you, and I probably don't want to know. But very few people on this earth can afford to cast stones.


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Postby rockermom » June 12th, 2006, 8:41 am

Anissa, You are doing the right thing. I myself tried to save an adult doberman as my first dog. Big mistake. Heartbreaking when I had to put her in rescue. I put day after day into finding the best possible rescue I could find that would take her. I know that was what was meant to be to save her. You will find peace when you know someone rescued the dog you loved.
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Postby rockermom » June 12th, 2006, 8:42 am

Oh yes and God Bless you for saving that pup and choosing not to bring him to a shelter.
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Postby luvmyangels » June 12th, 2006, 9:12 am

I guess I missed all the threads too. I have my first Pit Bull too and there are things that I have done wrong. But I try and learn from each thing and try and make things better. That is all you can do. It is a heart wrenching decision to make to rehome Brock. But you were lucky to get him out of the situation he was in and make him healthy so that now he can live a better life with whomever you choose. You gave him that chance to have a better life. Thank you for what you are doing for Brock. Best of luck in the search for a new home for him.
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Postby SisMorphine » June 12th, 2006, 9:21 am

I don't condemn you for what you're doing. Often times people are quick to judge as you hear that someone is rehoming an animal and you automatically think that they have given up and not thought things through. That does not sound like you're case. You're doing the best you can for this pupper and I wish you luck in successfully placing him.
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Postby turtle » June 12th, 2006, 9:30 am

I've had a busy week and have not been on line much so I am sure I have missed a lot of threads. I did post to you in the thread about the puppy crying and I am glad you are listening to the posts and such.

Everyone makes mistakes, it's human nature. And it's hard to resist a baby puppy... It may not have been the right thing to buy this puppy from the bad breeder but that's done now. But you are very much doing the right thing by making the tough decision to re-home the pup Brock.

It's a hard choice but it is the right one. Two pit bulls fighting is a scary thing and it can happen so fast... It's nothing to take a chance on and with two male pit bulls, it's like a time bomb. And pit bulls are really happiest being the only dog in a family. They can have outside dog friends that they know and can play with under supervision but living with 2 pit bulls is a totally different matter. I've owned pit bulls since the 1970s and I would not keep two pits in the same house. You also get a much closer bond with only one dog.

Your little Brock will be best off finding a good home now while he is a young puppy, it's much easier to adopt out puppies. You are giving him a good start and he will have a better life.

You are doing the right thing. Thank you for thinking of both dogs' best interests in the long run.
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Postby cheekymunkee » June 12th, 2006, 9:42 am

Like I said in the other thread, you are doing the best thing for ALL of you, especially since your husband is going to be gone for so long & you have a young child. You are going to have your hands full as it is, adding a puppy to the mix with an already possibly dog aggressive male is more than most people can handle. I am very experienced with this breed & I would not do it. If not for the fact that there are 3 adults in my home I would not have the dogs that I do have. Whoever is sending you these pm's is NOT looking at the BIG picture.......are THEY going to be there to help you when the two males get a little older & get into it? Are THEY going to be there when your little one accidently opens the wrong gate, the wrong door & the two get together? No they are not so they have no room to judge you.
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Postby Purple » June 12th, 2006, 10:07 am

You, know, you really stick yourself out there when you post questions or advice in the public forums. There are small people who think they know all and don't, using anonymity as their shield.
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Postby mnp13 » June 12th, 2006, 10:09 am

If you are being harassed please let one of the staff members know.
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Postby a-bull » June 12th, 2006, 10:51 am

Just as there is no guarantee they will not get along, there is also no guarantee they won't get along.

Would putting them in seperate rooms or crates be an option when you're not home to supervise them??

Is that little guy even a pitbull? He almost looks like a mix to me---and of course even pitbull mixes can have the same issues, I know, because mine are mixes, but sometimes they don't.

Well, I'm sure you know what's best for your family, but I just thought I'd throw those couple of thoughts out at you, hopefully not confusing you further. When I got my first one, I read so many horrible things I almost wondered why I adopted him . . . only to go on and adopt a second and a third, because he turned out to be so wonderful . . . and then I worried to death about having two of them and they've been great together. I'm not saying things will be perfect forever, but so far so good, and to me now, it's all worthwhile.

Good luck either way. :)
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Postby pitbullmamaliz » June 12th, 2006, 11:31 am

I'm with everybody else here! :wink:
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Postby msvette2u » June 12th, 2006, 11:47 am

A) leaving him with the breeder with a festering infection B) Not spending the time nor money on treating his infection C) Not giving a rats fanny about getting his shots/chipping/neutering D) dropping him off at the nearest shelter and E) not bother to be on this forum in the first place. I may be inexperienced, but I seriously encourage you to reconsider your definition of 'irresponsible'.


I'm with everyone else that you are being responsible now - my only concern, in reading your post, is that you seem to feel it was YOUR responsibility to get him from the breeder - you paid for a BYB to continue their BYB practice. The problem is, it was never your responsibility in the first place - it was theirs. The best thing to have done (but of course you didn't) would have been to remain strong and walk away.
Now that you have the dog, however, it is good you are taking care of the situation.
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Postby anissa » June 12th, 2006, 12:19 pm

Thanks for the support and comments. :heartbeat:

I didnt make this post call out anyone that had anything negative to say.. like I said, Ive learnt from ALL comments/ PM's & emails. Michelle, I appreciate the help but I dont think anyone was trying to harrass me. Some people just have different takes on this situation, and I cant blame them since they didnt have the 'full' story. Instead of getting butthurt, I took them all with a grain of salt, and decided to delete them and address the situation here. Some still might not understand and/or agree with what Ive decided.. but thats their problem now.

ME - Ive got your number on speed dial!

a-bull - Ive considered everything.. 10x over. A 50/50 chance of them getting along or not, is unfortunately, a chance I cannot take. Both the things going on in my life right now, and my inexperience has played a part in that decision. To be honest, I couldnt tell you 100% what he is. We met both the mother and father dogs, my husband being alittle more attentive to what the breed really looks like.. agree's with what the breeder told us, that Brock is full pit. I question why she was only selling him for $50 if he is a full pit, but it could have been because she knew of his infection, considering she was selling the others for much more. Charlie is definately a mix though.. we just dont know exactly what he's mixed with.

msvette - like I said, I agree that by buying brock I was encouraging them to breed more, but I also feel that if I hadnt, someone else would have and probably wouldnt have given him the best start at life. Ive looked over the breeders ad again, and she has already sold most of them.. for a much higher price. Brock would have been bought in a second flat, thats why I feel there was a reason that everything happened when, and the way it did. I dont feel it was my responsibility to take him, I chose to, and like I said.. I had intended to keep him as my own. I chose to not walk away from him, and I chose to give him a better home, whether its with me or someone else I know will provide the best home for him. I could have chosen to walk away, but then Id have had to choose to ignore every thought of what might of happened to him. Its not our responsibility to save every dog that might be in danger, we all choose to.. because whoever had them before us obviously didnt take the resonsibility that they should have. Thankfully so. If I had walked away just because it was a bad breeder, and we all started walking away because a dog came from a bad breeder/fighter/abusive home.. where would our dogs be? I whole heartedly disagree that the best thing would have been to walk away.

The only 'mistake' I believe Ive made, is ignorantly thinking I could keep and provide Brock a home myself. The only thing I regret, is not being able to do so. Ive taken each step as responsibly as I can with Brocks best interest in mind, but of course.. any of you are entitled to disagree.

Thanks again for the support, and questions. I'll continue to try my best to explain if you have any other comments/questions.. but I may start charging a fee! lol
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Postby a-bull » June 12th, 2006, 5:10 pm

:thumbsup:

Good enough.

Good luck, and if there's anything I can do, please feel free to pm . . . :)
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Postby Fear_the_Sheeple » June 12th, 2006, 8:15 pm

If I had walked away just because it was a bad breeder, and we all started walking away because a dog came from a bad breeder/fighter/abusive home.. where would our dogs be?


Nobody is saying that adopting a dog that was once from a breeder/etc. is a bad thing, I think the point is buying directly from a breeder is supporting them and their practice plain and simple. There are thousands of homeless pit bull puppies waiting in shelters that need to be "rescued" too. You could have saved one of them instead.

Don't mean to pry on that issue, but it just seems like you would do it again, thinking that buying a puppy is saving it... that's how puppy mills make their money - those poor little puppies need to be "saved" from the petstore.

Sorry, I'm ranting!

I'm don't know much about your decision, but it sounds like you are really thinking about what is best for your family. I wish you the best in finding him a wonderful home, it sounds like you will have the support to do so. :)
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Postby msvette2u » June 12th, 2006, 9:34 pm

Nobody is saying that adopting a dog that was once from a breeder/etc. is a bad thing, I think the point is buying directly from a breeder is supporting them and their practice plain and simple. There are thousands of homeless pit bull puppies waiting in shelters that need to be "rescued" too. You could have saved one of them instead.

Don't mean to pry on that issue, but it just seems like you would do it again, thinking that buying a puppy is saving it... that's how puppy mills make their money - those poor little puppies need to be "saved" from the petstore.

Exactly my point. Sorry if you don't like hearing it but it is the truth.
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Postby cheekymunkee » June 13th, 2006, 12:35 am

Not everyone understands the pit bull problem, they don't know about over population , back yard breeders, the plight of rescue. It is our job to teach them & help them to make better choices in the future. She made a mistake, she is trying to rectify it, hopefully, with our help she won't make it again.
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Postby Malli » June 13th, 2006, 8:18 am

I didn't get enough time to read the entire thread but I also think you are doing what's best.

I got Oscar from a BYB. Now these were our friends, the mum and the puppies all recieved vet care, but there was no health testing etc. I also made a mistake. I had no idea BYB's even existed at that time. We LOVED his mom and thought how wonderful it would be to have a baby from her. I knew nothing about the breed when I got him, he was my first dog, and luckily I have perserveered enough and he has been patient enough that it has worked.

Both of us has made mistakes and learned from them. It is definately not irresponsible to look out for the dog's best interests, we have both done that in different ways, though yours will be filled with many more tears then mine *hug*

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