Thank you so much, each and everyone of you for your kind words, your sympathy, and for supporting Vincenzo and me during his illness.
I'm doing o.k. Of course, I did not want Vinny to leave me like this, but we don't always get what we want, do we? I take comfort from knowing that I did EVERYTHING I could for Vin, and you all are a huge part of me being able to do so. You gave me great advice, and you gave Vinny and me strength when we needed it the most. I do feel some guilt about not doing everything right before Vinny developed the cancer, but as Maya and Oprah say "When you know better, you do better". This is so true for me. Don't worry, though, I don't BLAME myself because I know Vinny had a predisposition to this horrible disease, or he would not have gotten it so badly, so young, and been gone so quickly.
I have something else I need to share with you all. I am taking a chance that some of you might think I'm crazy, but frankly, if you haven't figured that out by now, I need to share a LOT more of my inner most thoughts with you.
Today, I came home for lunch, like every day. I walked into my kitchen and noticed that my little kitchen table had water all over it. My roof/ceiling had leaked from all the rain yesterday and today (even the Sky is crying). As I'm getting towels and looking around to move things off the table, I noticed that two very wet items had already been moved off the table and to the counter. They were things I'd recently bought for Vinny, a box of homeopathic remedies and the cold/hot pack Id use'd on his leg. Joe came home for lunch too and arrived right after me. I asked him if he'd moved that stuff over and he had no idea what I was talking about. He didn't know about the leaking ceiling. I talked to my son later, the only other person with access to our house and he hadn't been home this morning either. I thought about this and realized that Vinny moved those things over to the counter.
Vinny gave me a sign to comfort me. Do you get why I think this is a sign from Vin? It was only two objects of HIS that were moved with about ten more items left on the table. HIs items were wet from the rain water, and no PERSON who has access to this house touched them. The only other explanation I can think of is that Reno or Guido did it, and I'm thinking a spirit has a lot better chance of doing this than G or Wee do! Vinny let me know that he is o.k. and not too far away. It gives me the most comfort to know he is still with me, just in a different form. Love transends all boundaries. So does the spirit.
I hope everyone who is mourning the passing of our Vincenzo can feel peace as I do with this sign.
As to his passing, I think the worst part went pretty quickly, all things considered. We made sure he was as comfortable as possible. I didn't give up hope until Sunday. Everyone who saw him in those last hours agreed that he was not in pain, but he did suffer. I hoped his bad shape was going to get better and I HAD to give him a chance. He'd recovered from so much so far. The amount of really bad shape was short and we took care of his comfort the whole time.
Cancer mother smurfing sucks, but it is NOT the end.