>For those who have grown children - this is totally hysterical!
>b) For those who have children past this age, this is hilarious.
>c) For those who have children this age, this is not funny.
>d) For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.
>e) For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control.
>The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin, Texas:
>Things I've learned from my Boys (honest and not kidding):
>1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.
>2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
>3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded
>4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong
>enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
>5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
>6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
>7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too late.
>8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
>9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a
>36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.
>10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old
>11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
>12.) Super glue is forever.
>13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
>14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
>15.) VCR's do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
>16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
>17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
>18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
>19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not
>20.) The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.
>21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
>22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.
>23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
>24.) 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.
>25.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.