Umm. :(

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Postby ParisStreetPitCrew » February 8th, 2011, 7:11 pm

I am so frustrated with my boss lately (well, ones of my bosses-- I have two at the same job, just different labs). I REALLY like him as a person but he's not a good manager. He never has been and never will be, but he tries. What he is, is a brilliant researcher who needs someone to do his managing for him.
I've been feeling stressed lately with lack of support I need to do my job well and very slighted on the time that I try to get the help I need... and today I may have gone a little over the line.
He said "I sense you're feeling pulled in too many directions and stretched thin right now" and I told him that really I was feeling a lack of support and that while I love my job and my work, I don't necessarily like working FOR HIM. I later explained that in my job I have two tough spots because I work for a lab I don't like, with work I only feel ok about but a boss who I love. Then I have a lab I like a lot, work I love and a boss I am super frustrated to work for....
I feel bad for saying that to him, but it was the truth.
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Postby mnp13 » February 8th, 2011, 8:49 pm

oh... ouch...

do you think that will affect your job status??
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Postby ParisStreetPitCrew » February 8th, 2011, 9:27 pm

I don't think so... unless I choose to work full time for my other boss.
I guess I was expecting the conversation to go very differently than it did and I feel very bad.
I think I will talk with him tomorrow and apologize for being out of line.... but I can't change the way I feel.
I really like him as a person, but not as a boss. I love the work I do for him, though.

I think I might also talk to my other boss and tell him what happened. What do you think about this?
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Postby plebayo » February 9th, 2011, 12:46 am

I work for a veterinarian who is a HORRIBLE manager. He's extremely wishy washy, tries to please everyone, never fires anyone, and never really has any true consequences for people. Half of the people I work with don't show up to work on time because they aren't expected to. We pretty much get away with murder and although that's great - it's very wearing on the people who do their job properly. I always ask myself why I bother to show up on time when no one else has to. He never tells us if we're going a good job, only if we're not doing something right... it sucks not having management - I feel you.

I think you were right to say the things you did. He probably knows he's a horrible manager and he should know that it's frustrating to you. You're probably not the only one who has voiced concerns like that. Do you think that your opinion of how things are going was over the line, or your delivery? If your delivery was bad by all means apologize, but otherwise he kind of opened the conversation and as long as you weren't being a complete jerk about it I don't understand why you can't say what is bothering you. Even if nothing changes you at least said what you needed to say.
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Postby hugapitbull » February 9th, 2011, 6:58 am

Coming from someone who has been labeled 'brutally honest', I agree with Suzanne - your delivery may not have been the best, but the message was right on. Believe me, if he is a bad manager, he knows it. Life is way too short to be miserable. Even managers need a wake up call, and there are only a few of us who are brave (or crazy) enough to give it to them. I try to be respectful in my honesty, but if you let the frustration build to a boiling point, sometimes you get the results you did.

If you like the guy, by all means apologize if you think the delivery was out of line. Or maybe it would be a good opening for a real discussion about how frustrated you are and what could improve how you feel.

Good luck. I've been where you are and it isn't fun.
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Postby ParisStreetPitCrew » February 9th, 2011, 7:18 am

Thanks. You guys make me feel a little better about what happened.
I do want to talk with him today if he has time for me. We'll see...
:nono: :sad2:
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Postby TinaMartin » February 10th, 2011, 10:41 am

Good Luck
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Postby DemoDick » February 10th, 2011, 10:57 am

Unless he's incredibly insecure and/or hates you, he's probably already forgot about it.

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