I don't expect anyone to have answers. I know this is a situation that I have to decide for myself, so this is just a vent.
I've been planning for months my move back out to where I originally went to college to finish my degree. I have been very excited about this whole thing but now the inner turmoil is getting to me.
My mother's cancer is back. From the way that the doctor has made it sound thusfar, this will most likely be a long fight. But what if it isn't? What if this is the end? I can't imagine being 2.5 hours away and missing things if those will be the last "things" that I can have to remember my mother.
I haven't discussed this with my mother yet. I know I should, but I don't want to question her mortality to her face. And frankly I've never felt comfortable discussing emotional things with her. I prefer to deal with them myself so that she doesn't have to bear the burden of my sadness.
As my father told me last night, I HAVE to go to school because I have my whole life ahead of me. And 2.5 hours isn't really that far away. My roommate who will be moving out with me, her father is also currently in a long cancer battle. So we're both in the same boat.
I guess this move really is what I need to do, but MAN this is getting complicated and heart wrenching. Alright, time to dry up the tears before I head up to snow blow my parent's driveway. Don't want Mom to know I've been crying. Thanks for listening to my drivel.
"All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another." -Anatole France