Aw, Heather, you are not stupid. To me, you must be a very loving and kind animal lover. I am sorry for your loss of Brandi.
When I was growing up, my first "real dog of my own" was Jennifer Winifred Apricot.
She was a purebred German Shepherd. I STILL think about her and her last days with me. I got her when I was 16 and lost her 10 years later. I tear up 27 years later.
Sometimes memories are painful, but they keep the dogs that we lost close to our hearts.
I hope you feel better today.