Jackassery Junction -- Joke of the Day!

Everything that doesn't fit anywhere else!

Postby pitbullmamaliz » December 23rd, 2009, 9:43 am

:spit:
"Remember - every time your dog gets somewhere on a tight leash *a fairy dies and it's all your fault.* Think of the fairies." http://www.positivepetzine.com"

http://www.pitbullzen.com
http://inaradog.wordpress.com
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Postby TheRedQueen » December 23rd, 2009, 9:50 am

lol
lol
lol
"I don't have any idea if my dogs respect me or not, but they're greedy and I have their stuff." -- Patty Ruzzo

"Dogs don't want to control people. They want to control their own lives." --John Bradshaw
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I thought I lost my Wiener... but then I found him.
 
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Postby Pit♥bull » December 23rd, 2009, 11:09 am

Only in Texas :D
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Postby Pit♥bull » December 29th, 2009, 7:57 pm

Doctor Dave from Louisiana had sex with one of his patients and felt guilty all day long.

No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he just couldn't. The guilt and sense of betrayal were overwhelming.

But every once in a while he'd hear an internal, reassuring voice in his head that said, "Dave, don't worry about it. You aren't the first medical practitioner to have sex with one of their patients and you won't be the last. And you're single. Just let it go, Dave."

But invariably another voice in his head would bring him back to reality, whispering:


"Dave...You're a veterinarian, you sick bastard."

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Postby amazincc » December 29th, 2009, 8:19 pm

:shock: LMAO
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Postby HappyChick » December 29th, 2009, 9:46 pm

:o :hammer:
Angie & crew

http://www.epitome-dog-rescue.org

My beloved Vincenzo 07/22/05 - 11/16/09 forever in my heart. Cancer sucks.
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Postby Pit♥bull » January 2nd, 2010, 9:44 pm

A WOMAN'S PRAYER:
Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man who's not a creep,
One who's handsome, smart and strong.
One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he's rich and self-employed,
And when I spend, won't be annoyed.
Pull out my chair and hold my hand.
Massage my feet and help me stand.
Oh send a king to make me queen.
A man who loves to cook and clean.
I pray this man will love no other.
And relish visits with my mother.





A MAN'S PRAYER:
I pray for a deaf-mute gymnast nymphomaniac with
big tits who owns a bar on a golf course,
and loves to send me fishing and drinking. This
doesn't rhyme and I don't give a shit.
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Postby Pit♥bull » January 6th, 2010, 5:45 pm

:D
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Postby pitbullmamaliz » January 6th, 2010, 6:19 pm

:spit:
"Remember - every time your dog gets somewhere on a tight leash *a fairy dies and it's all your fault.* Think of the fairies." http://www.positivepetzine.com"

http://www.pitbullzen.com
http://inaradog.wordpress.com
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Working out in the buff causes chafing
 
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Postby amazincc » January 6th, 2010, 6:42 pm

:giggle:
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Jessica & Mick
 
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Location: Holding them both in my heart.

Postby Marinepits » January 6th, 2010, 7:02 pm

lol Hell must've frozen over, huh?
Never make someone a priority in your life when that someone treats you like an option.
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Postby hugapitbull » January 6th, 2010, 11:41 pm

Good news from Kansas,



It's 70 years old. Today, if Dorothy
were to encounter
people with no brains, no hearts, and no courage
-

She wouldn't
be in Oz

She'd be in Congress !!!
Shanna & Spirit Trouble
We beat osteosarcoma - 27 months 20 days cancer free
'Spirit' Trouble departed for the Bridge 3/16/2011 a victim of aging
Visit - http://k9cancer.org

Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain--and most fools do. ~Dale Carnegie
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Postby Pit♥bull » January 14th, 2010, 8:10 am

During a recent password audit at the Bank Of Ireland it was found that Paddy O'Toole was using the following password:

MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofyBerlin

When asked why he had such a long password he replied:

"Oi was told it had to be at least 8 characters long and include one capital"
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Postby HappyChick » January 14th, 2010, 10:05 am

:backRoll: lol
Angie & crew

http://www.epitome-dog-rescue.org

My beloved Vincenzo 07/22/05 - 11/16/09 forever in my heart. Cancer sucks.
HappyChick
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Postby TinaMartin » January 14th, 2010, 10:21 am

Pit♥Bull wrote:During a recent password audit at the Bank Of Ireland it was found that Paddy O'Toole was using the following password:

MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofyBerlin

When asked why he had such a long password he replied:

"Oi was told it had to be at least 8 characters long and include one capital"

My mom sent me this as a blonde joke.
Not only am I a member of the Michelle says my dog is fat club I'm the president!
I can Alpha Roll hair!
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Postby Pit♥bull » January 21st, 2010, 7:47 pm

:D :mrgreen: :D :mrgreen: :D :mrgreen:
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Postby Marinepits » January 21st, 2010, 8:18 pm

LMAO
Never make someone a priority in your life when that someone treats you like an option.
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Postby TheRedQueen » January 21st, 2010, 8:27 pm

That state trooper one made me snort out loud...lol
"I don't have any idea if my dogs respect me or not, but they're greedy and I have their stuff." -- Patty Ruzzo

"Dogs don't want to control people. They want to control their own lives." --John Bradshaw
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I thought I lost my Wiener... but then I found him.
 
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Postby pitbullmamaliz » January 21st, 2010, 9:08 pm

Holy crap the Trooper one was hysterical!
"Remember - every time your dog gets somewhere on a tight leash *a fairy dies and it's all your fault.* Think of the fairies." http://www.positivepetzine.com"

http://www.pitbullzen.com
http://inaradog.wordpress.com
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pitbullmamaliz
Working out in the buff causes chafing
 
Posts: 15437
Location: Cleveland, OH

Postby TheRedQueen » January 26th, 2010, 5:34 pm

8) Man jokes...always good for a laugh...esp. when one is annoying you. ;)

Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?

A: Trustworthy

********

Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping
for breath and calling your name?

A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.

********

Q: Why do little boys whine?

A: They are practicing to be men.

********
Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?

A: Rename the email folder 'Instruction Manuals'

******
Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man;
Love to forgive him;
and Patience for his moods.

Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength,
I'll beat him to death.
AMEN
"I don't have any idea if my dogs respect me or not, but they're greedy and I have their stuff." -- Patty Ruzzo

"Dogs don't want to control people. They want to control their own lives." --John Bradshaw
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I thought I lost my Wiener... but then I found him.
 
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Location: Maryland

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