Jackassery Junction -- Joke of the Day!

by **Pit♥bull** » December 23rd, 2009, 11:09 am

Only in Texas

PP.jpg

by **Pit♥bull** » December 29th, 2009, 7:57 pm

Doctor Dave from Louisiana had sex with one of his patients and felt guilty all day long.

No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he just couldn't. The guilt and sense of betrayal were overwhelming.

But every once in a while he'd hear an internal, reassuring voice in his head that said, "Dave, don't worry about it. You aren't the first medical practitioner to have sex with one of their patients and you won't be the last. And you're single. Just let it go, Dave."

But invariably another voice in his head would bring him back to reality, whispering:

"Dave...You're a veterinarian, you sick bastard."

by **amazincc** » December 29th, 2009, 8:19 pm

by **HappyChick** » December 29th, 2009, 9:46 pm

by **Pit♥bull** » January 2nd, 2010, 9:44 pm

A WOMAN'S PRAYER:
Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man who's not a creep,
One who's handsome, smart and strong.
One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he's rich and self-employed,
And when I spend, won't be annoyed.
Pull out my chair and hold my hand.
Massage my feet and help me stand.
Oh send a king to make me queen.
A man who loves to cook and clean.
I pray this man will love no other.
And relish visits with my mother.

A MAN'S PRAYER:
I pray for a deaf-mute gymnast nymphomaniac with
big tits who owns a bar on a golf course,
and loves to send me fishing and drinking. This
doesn't rhyme and I don't give a shit.

by **Pit♥bull** » January 6th, 2010, 5:45 pm

democrat.jpg

by **pitbullmamaliz** » January 6th, 2010, 6:19 pm

by **amazincc** » January 6th, 2010, 6:42 pm

by **Marinepits** » January 6th, 2010, 7:02 pm

Hell must've frozen over, huh?

by **hugapitbull** » January 6th, 2010, 11:41 pm

Good news from Kansas,

It's 70 years old. Today, if Dorothy
were to encounter
people with no brains, no hearts, and no courage
-

She wouldn't
be in Oz

She'd be in Congress !!!

by **Pit♥bull** » January 14th, 2010, 8:10 am

During a recent password audit at the Bank Of Ireland it was found that Paddy O'Toole was using the following password:

MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofyBerlin

When asked why he had such a long password he replied:

"Oi was told it had to be at least 8 characters long and include one capital"

by **HappyChick** » January 14th, 2010, 10:05 am

by **TinaMartin** » January 14th, 2010, 10:21 am

Pit♥Bull wrote:During a recent password audit at the Bank Of Ireland it was found that Paddy O'Toole was using the following password:

MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofyBerlin

When asked why he had such a long password he replied:

"Oi was told it had to be at least 8 characters long and include one capital"

My mom sent me this as a blonde joke.

by **Pit♥bull** » January 21st, 2010, 7:47 pm

chart..jpg

trooper.jpg

by **Marinepits** » January 21st, 2010, 8:18 pm

by **TheRedQueen** » January 21st, 2010, 8:27 pm

That state trooper one made me snort out loud... lol

by **pitbullmamaliz** » January 21st, 2010, 9:08 pm

Holy crap the Trooper one was hysterical!

by **TheRedQueen** » January 26th, 2010, 5:34 pm

Man jokes...always good for a laugh...esp. when one is annoying you.

Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?

A: Trustworthy

********

Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping
for breath and calling your name?

A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.

********

Q: Why do little boys whine?

A: They are practicing to be men.

********
Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?

A: Rename the email folder 'Instruction Manuals'

******
Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man;
Love to forgive him;
and Patience for his moods.

Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength,
I'll beat him to death.
AMEN

Jackassery Junction -- Joke of the Day!

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