Jackassery Junction -- Joke of the Day!

Everything that doesn't fit anywhere else!

Postby CinderDee » January 17th, 2009, 5:16 pm

:spit:
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Postby Pit♥bull » January 18th, 2009, 5:24 pm

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Postby Marinepits » January 18th, 2009, 5:40 pm

:spit: LOTS of guys around this area drive those cars!
Never make someone a priority in your life when that someone treats you like an option.
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Postby SisMorphine » January 18th, 2009, 6:21 pm

BWAHAHAHAHA! You're killing me :)
"All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another." -Anatole France
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Postby pitbullmamaliz » January 18th, 2009, 6:29 pm

These aren't possibly real billboards are they? That would be immensely priceless if they were!
"Remember - every time your dog gets somewhere on a tight leash *a fairy dies and it's all your fault.* Think of the fairies." http://www.positivepetzine.com"

http://www.pitbullzen.com
http://inaradog.wordpress.com
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Postby Pit♥bull » January 19th, 2009, 2:29 pm

A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by.

He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says,
"Perfect timing. You're just like Frank."

Passenger: 'Who?'

Cabbie: "Frank Feldman. He's a guy who did
everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you
needed a cab, things happened like that to Frank Feldman
every single time."

Passenger: "There are always a few clouds over everybody."

Cabbie: "Not over Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete.
He could have won the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf
with the pros. He sang like an opera tenor and danced
like Gene Kelly and you should have heard him play the
piano. He was an amazing guy."

Passenger: "Sounds like he was something really special."

Cabbie: "There's more... He had a memory like a
computer. He remembered everybody's birthday. He knew
all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat
them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a
fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Frank Feldman, he
could do everything right."

Passenger: "Wow, some guy then."

Cabbie: "He always knew the quickest way to go in
traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem
to get stuck in them. But Frank, he never made a mistake,
and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel
good. He would never answer her back even if she was in the
wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly
polished too. He was the perfect man! He never made a
mis take. No one could ever measure up to Frank Feldman."

Passenger: "An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?"

Cabbie: "Well, I never actually met Frank. He died.
I'm married to his damn widow."
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Postby amazincc » January 19th, 2009, 2:31 pm

LMAO
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Postby pitbullmamaliz » January 19th, 2009, 2:43 pm

:spit: I was NOT expecting that!
"Remember - every time your dog gets somewhere on a tight leash *a fairy dies and it's all your fault.* Think of the fairies." http://www.positivepetzine.com"

http://www.pitbullzen.com
http://inaradog.wordpress.com
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Postby TheRedQueen » January 19th, 2009, 2:48 pm

:lol3:
"I don't have any idea if my dogs respect me or not, but they're greedy and I have their stuff." -- Patty Ruzzo

"Dogs don't want to control people. They want to control their own lives." --John Bradshaw
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Postby Pit♥bull » January 19th, 2009, 3:44 pm

pitbullmamaliz wrote:These aren't possibly real billboards are they? That would be immensely priceless if they were!
:|

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Postby Jenn » January 19th, 2009, 3:55 pm

lmao

That was so unexpected!!
I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure....
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Postby cheekymunkee » January 19th, 2009, 6:10 pm

Bwahahahah!!
There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.

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Postby Pit♥bull » January 21st, 2009, 5:03 pm

You are on the bus when you suddenly realize ... you need to fart.

The music is really loud, so you time your farts with the beat. After
a couple of songs, you start to feel better as you approach your stop.


As you are leaving the bus, people are really staring you down, and
that's when you remember: you've been listening to your ipod.

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Postby cheekymunkee » January 21st, 2009, 5:13 pm

Bwahahahahaha!!!
There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.

Debby
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Postby Marinepits » January 21st, 2009, 5:30 pm

:lol3:
Never make someone a priority in your life when that someone treats you like an option.
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Postby Pit♥bull » January 30th, 2009, 2:11 pm

DEPT OF TRANSPORTATION INITIATIVE - FEB 2009.
Information Release.


There is concern over the current driving standards in the U.S., so the Department of Transportation has devised a scheme to identify extremely poor and dangerous drivers.
This system will allow all road users to recognize the potentially hazardous and dangerous ones, or those with limited driving skills and ability.

In the beginning of February 2009 all those drivers who are found to be a potential hazard to all other road users will be required to drive with their Fog Lights on – despite there being no sign of any fog!

The use of Fog Lights indicates their inability to drive properly. And show’s their true ignorance.


Those drivers who have shown particularly poor driving skills will have their rear Fog Lights to indicate an even greater lack of skill and limited driving intelligence.

Please circulate this to as many other motorists as you can, in order
that drivers and pedestrians will be aware of the meaning of the new use of Fog Lights.



Thank you for your co-operation. Department of Transportation.
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Postby Pit♥bull » January 30th, 2009, 2:18 pm

:D
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Postby TinaMartin » January 30th, 2009, 2:32 pm

:shock:
Not only am I a member of the Michelle says my dog is fat club I'm the president!
I can Alpha Roll hair!
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Postby iluvk9 » January 30th, 2009, 4:35 pm

I think he helped me last time I had a computer problem.
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Postby cheekymunkee » January 30th, 2009, 4:52 pm

Supposedly Dell is bringing their customer support back to the US. HOORAY if they are!
There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.

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